Wednesday, 25 December 2013

I wonder what Joseph asked the Angel Gabriel ?

So...can I get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?

>>>>>Rewind 10 minutes.

It was Christmas Eve babe...

And a Silent Night in the Unit.
Baby , it was cold outside, a proper Winter Wonderland.
With any luck we'll have a White Christmas.
Out in Royal Davids City Mall the window-lickers and layabouts were spending their social security.

MarkieMark, with his comb-over dyed red for christmas,sashayed over to my room to ask for some prescribing advice.
He had a young woman as a patient with cellulitis to her left heel following-on from wearing new shoes to a party.
His concern was that she thought she might be pregnant and wanted to know if I would be happy to prescribe some flucloxacillin to treat the cellulitis since she had a temperature and was feeling unwell

We walked back over to his room...
...I walked....
…and MarieMark minced... the all-butter-short-crust pie he had stuffed into his pocket.

Sitting on one chair was a pouting pulchritudinous blonde nymphet of about 18, twirling her hair around her index finger.
MarkieMark was fortunately immune to her charms.
Me...not so much.
Sitting next to her was a tall gangly teenager, with his jeans down around his scraggly arse and wearing the obligatory stupid, stupid knitted woollen hat, staring off into the middle distance.
He looked like he had been kicked in the testicles and was still waiting to draw his next breath.

“Hello...Mark tells me you think you might be pregnant?”

Yersss....I'm late...

“Okay...well...Mark will run a quick urine pregnancy test and we will talk again after that then...”


She was indeed pregnant...we ran two tests just to be sure.

“’re definitely pregnant...probably about six to eight weeks...”

Oh thats great...!!!

Her boyfriend just sat there, waiting to draw breath , pale , looking a little like Frosty the Snowman.

“Well...I'm happy to give you a prescription for the antibiotics...they’re safe in pregnancy...are you going to proceed with the pregnancy?”

Yersss....I'm so excited...

She grabbed the hand of her boyfriend.
He just sat there....still waiting to breathe.

“'s the prescription...”

I turned to the boyfriend.
He managed a little gulp.
He looked at me wildly, like he had stared into the abyss and seen the monster of the deep...
...and the monster was called 'fatherhood'.

“And do you want the phone number for the Foreign Legion then...?”

I gave her the prescription, wished them good luck and they got up to leave.
As I walked back to my room I heard the boyfriend call me.

So...can I get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?

Okay....what he actually asked was if his girlfriend was really pregnant...
I was happy to confirm she was. was like a fairytale of New York.

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