Monday, 20 August 2012

And the winner of the 'Sunday "say what?" ' prize is...




In third place was the 19 year old unemployed man who had punched a wall...in anger...he thinks...

"So...do you have any medical problems at all?"

No

"Do you take any medicines on a daily basis, for any reason, medical or otherwise?"

Just the marijuana...

"Oh...okay...what do you take that for...pain management? Glaucoma?"

No medical reason mate...I just like it...



And in second place was a charming old chap with a head injury...well he started off charming...

"Right Sir...do you know the name of the Prime Minister?"

Which one...?

"The current Prime Minister?"

Yes...

"Well who is it...?"

You asked me if I knew who it was....you didn't ask me to tell you who it was...!

I couldn't argue with him.



And the winner is the 23 year old woman who had injured her back getting out of bed....she thought...and who told Shuffling Bob that she couldn't walk....had no sensation in her legs...but that her legs were painful.

She had of course walked completely unaided into my room....and every time I touched her she complained of pain to her 'numb' legs which 'had lost all feeling'

"Right....there are just some 'red flag' questions I need to ask you then....I need to know if you have any 'saddle anaesthesia'...

Okay....

"So....are you experiencing any numbness or tingling to your perineum?"

Yerss....its completely numb but sometimes its tingling....

"Really....numb and tingling?"

Yerss...numb and tingling....

( The next step would be to check her anal tone...by sticking my finger where it didn't really want to go for all sorts of reasons but not least though because ChakalakaCindy's mother is visiting her and she had brought some vetkoek with curry mince in for my lunch.)

"Are you absolutely sure that your perineum is numb?"

Yerss...

*sigh*

By the way....where is my perineum...?


Its right next to the sign that says 'Exit'.


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