You're the best doctor I've ever seen....no really....you really care about me...
I wish all my doctors were as good as you....
You're a real star mate...
Well of course he was drunk.
In fact 'drunk' is too subtle a word to describe his state of inebriation.
He had been walking home with his girlfriend,-also drunk-,(although they both assured me that she only drinks on her birthday and on New Years Eve),when she had made the not totally unreasonable request that he choose between her and his drunken smack head cousin who had not only been released from Prison this week,but was sporting a Mochician haircut that was dirty and 20 years out of date.
Naturally he had chosen his cousin on the grounds that "blood is ficker than water...innit??"
When they got home she threatened to end the relationship (which has already survived 2 years apparently) and so he had punched a wire mesh window in the bathroom...
...and then went outside...
...and punched a brick wall...
...and then came back inside...
...where she remonstrated with him...
...and so he punched the kitchen table.
I x-rayed his wrist which looked broken (but wasn't) and his hand which didn't look broken (but was)...got the HCSW to clean his wounds and strap him up and discharged him.
You're so wonderful...really mate....I've never met anyone like you...
Can I see you all the time...?
Its funny really...because I saw him on October 22 this year,with a raft of similar injuries...in fact I could have just cut and pasted his notes from his last visit...as if I ever did anything like that!!
He has visited our Unit 10 times in the past 6 months,all for hand injuries...
...and when I last saw him I documented that he was rude and unco-operative and rude and abusive and rude and drunk and that in fact used the "A" word to me...
...that's correct...
...he called me an Australian!!
But he was so happy and it was so close to home time that I didn't want to remind him of our last encounter.
In fact he was so happy that he believed me when I told him it was National Prostate Awareness Day and that I needed to perform a digital rectal examination on him!!
Okay....I made up the bit about the DRE...I would rather eat a cream scone from the hairy purple arse of a baboon in the front window of Harrods!
And so to bed.
Another year done.
Night night!!
Happy 2012; thanks for writing a blog. Sharing your life - it's a neat thing.
ReplyDelete