Anatomy 202

The patient was a young man of 22...fit and healthy...a manual labourer.His girlfriend had insisted that he come to the hospital...a real little 'Miss Bossy Boots'...

Well...what it was...obviously...we was shagging...

"Uh huh"

And when he took his clothes off I noticed the swelling...

I raised my left eyebrow...

"Uh huh"

And I've never seen nuffink like it before...and I'm worried...

I raised my right eyebrow...

"Uh huh"

What do you think is wrong with him...?

"Ummm...wheres 'the swelling' ?"

On his chest...

"His chest?...okay young man...lets have a look then at this mysterious swelling...please take your shirt off..."

Do I have too...?

"Well...its the easiest...indeed...the only way I can actually physically examine you since I'm not wearing my x-ray glasses this morning...go on...take your shirt off...you're among friends..."

He stood up and shrugged off his T shirt (the logo said 'If I wanted to talk to you I would have worn underwear')

(Note to self...try that on your next date)

In fairness he had well developed musculature due to his hard physical work as a road labourer.

Apart from the slight ringworm rash I couldn't really see any obvious problems.

"So...ummm...wheres the swelling?"

There...said Ms Bossy Boots pointing at his left shoulder.

"Well...that's a normal looking shoulder...what specifically worries you?"

The swelling ...there...can't you see it?

"Look...why don't you put your hand on the swelling so we can all make sure we're all talking about the same thing?"

She gave me that look...the look I remember well from my married life...the look that says...dumb arse!!

She stood up and walked over to her boyfriend...and put her hand on his left side collar bone, at the point where it enters the acromio-clavicular joint...in other words...his shoulder.

"Okaaaaaaaay then...well...thats his collar bone..."

Well its all swollen...what are you going to do about it ?

"Nothing...its normal..."

But I've never seen it before...

"Oooohhh yes you have...look at him closely and you will see that he has exactly the same 'swelling' on his right shoulder...as indeed do you...and I...and all the other people living in the entire wide known world."

Oh..so he does...

"Uh huh"

We...all I can say is that I've never seen it before!

You never really learn to swear until you work in medicine.