Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Whose your daddy ?

At the risk of seeming like some right-wing paelo-chauvinist I share the following 'joke' and thoughts with you.
The joke is courtesy of the usually-trusty Julian.

A woman goes to register the birth of her new baby at Social Services in order to collect her new extra benefits.

The clerk says...You've called this child 'Storm'...and in fact...I see that you have 6 other children who also have the same first name of Storm ?

Yes...says the mum...its a good name for boys or girls...and its very useful...like at dinnertime...I only have to call out one name and all the children come...it saves me a lot of time...

But if you have 7 children all with the same name...then...what do you do if you want to speak to one specific child ? asks the clerk.

Oh...then I use their surnames !


The sociologists talk about "serial monogamy" ,the practice of having a number of long-term romantic and/or sexual partners in succession,which is effectively a polygamous lifestyle.

And on Sunday I had this very situation ...twice...

Now this is not a philosophical or moral blog...but honestly...the one thing that continues to amaze me about living in the UK ,is the casualness with which sexually active people decide unceremoniously to "partner" with each other after what frequently seems to be drink-fuelled and largely cursory meetings...informally co-habiting with people who are to a large degree, virtual strangers... and then nonchalantly to produce children ;and the almost complete disregard for the legal and practical protection of the institution of marriage-bordering on almost open contempt...not least from the Government.

And please...don't get me started on the Social Workers!!

No serious thought appears to be given to the personality and character of the person with whom you intend to share a life...never mind a child !

(Gosh...I don't even want to share a toilet seat with someone unless I have a full sexual and medical history...which might of course explain why I'm still single 16 years after my divorce!)

So on Sunday I saw a charming , and what we call...a 'well presented' child...with a cut chin ,who was accompanied by her mother and her sister.She was 10,blond and thin.Her sister aged 12,was not as tall as my patient,was a brunette and was slightly overweight.
In fact they looked more like a couple of friends than sisters.
Of course they both had different surnames...and their mother in turn had a different surname.

But...you know...they were cheerful and happy and clearly much loved...although of course they all lived on benefits.

C'est la vie.

The 'blended' family that worried me though was the child of three brought in with a viral URTI.
During the social history part of the consultation I established that the mother was a single parent , on benefits,who had 5 children from 4 different fathers...honestly...thats pretty normal for here.

Things just got crazier though when I started to take the child's medical history

"So...has your son had all of his vaccinations to date ?"

Ummh...no...I didn't let him have his MMR


"And...ah...might I ask why your son hasn't had this really REALLY important vaccination then ?"

Well...his father didn't want him to have it...he thinks its unsafe...

"I see.Tell me...you've just told me that you're a single parent...when did you last see your son's father then ?"

Oh...I haven't seen him since my son was 6 months old...

(Lordy Lordy)

"Right...so you're acquiescing to the wishes of your son's father despite the fact that he hasn't in fact seen either you or his son for 2 years ? "

Well...he was the father you know...

"I'm just curious...have your other 4 children had their MMR jabs?"

Oh yes...their fathers didn't mind about the MMR...and I know that it's important...


"A plague on both their houses"... I say..."a plague" !

Of course...in this town...the locals think that Romeo + Juliet is about the feud between the Capulets and the Romulans!

1 comment:

  1. *chuckle* At least they aren't as bad as the woman in the States who, when I told her I came from Jo'burg, thought it was in Central Europe ... seriously! And then proceeded to put her other foot in her mouth too by saying something even more stupid. Stupid people make for excellent blog posts tho!