At the gym this morning, after a vigorous work out...well...vigorous for me at any rate...I was catching my breath and decided to have a cup of coffee and read the paper before having a shower...
...and then I saw the notice below and my irritation levels immediately maxed out...
When I first joined FitnessFirst several years ago,as part of the membership package, there were a number of 'free' perks...a generic cola/soda bar...a free newspaper for each member...(it was the Daily Mail...but look....it was free)...a one-day DVD hire...and of course, the free coffee.
Over the past few months the soda bar was taken away on the grounds that it was bad for the members health...the newspapers just stopped with no explanation...and the DVD service was stopped on the grounds that 'everyone has satellite TV'...
...I don't...and nor do any of the other South Africans using the gym...
...and now the free coffee is being stopped so that I can "have a better choice"...
...surely 'free' is always going to be the most 'affordable option' for me...
Bastards!!
Anyway...there I was...sipping my coffee and idly paging through the paper when my local porn star sidled over to my table and asked if he could talk to me...
He then described some clinical signs and symptoms which led me to speculate that he had passed a a very very small but very very painful kidney stone on Friday night...
...he confirmed that he has passed some stones a few years ago...
...and that he has a pre-existing kidney condition which would make him prone to getting stones...
...but, we decided, all in all,he was fine now...
I offered to refer him to the urology OPD and suggested he drink some extra clear fluids for a few days...
He seemed relieved but looked tired and a little haggard.
"So...what else is going on then?"
I've been to Amsterdam every weekend for the past few months....I'm really tired...
"Amsterdam...that's nice...business or pleasure...?"
Well...both...its for some S&M parties...
"Oh jah...?"
Yes...I basically spend the weekend whipping people...
"Jah...?"
But I get so tired...the party just goes on and on...
"Jah...?"
You know...I don't drink or do drugs...well...apart from the Viagra and the steroids of course...
"Of course..."
I'm all for the quiet life I am...I'm normally in bed by ten at night and up at dawn...
"Jah....?'
Early to bed, early to rise...that's me...I don't like to waste my days...
"So...why do you go to all these parties then...?"
Well for the money of course....whipping pays very well...
"Of course..."
At least he'll be able to afford the coffee at the gym...
...he might even buy me a cup!
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