Sunday 5 February 2012

Divorce is a four-letter word


We take a social history as part of the therapeutic relationship to "promote" 'concordance'…to make sure that you are 'safe' when you leave my care…that you have some support if you need it…that we can keep you at work, in your job, earning a living…

…and also to try and gauge how thick you are so we can pitch the conversation and discharge information accordingly…

The patient was a 67 year old man who had fallen off of a kitchen chair whilst painting the ceiling.

“So…what work do you do then Sir?”

I’m retired mate…

“Okay…what sort of work did you do before you retired then?”

Oh…I was a painter-and-decorator…

“Okay…are you married…do you live with anyone…?”

No I’m divorced…

“Oaky…do you live alone then?” ...(thinking of his dodgy knee and the help he might need.)

No mate…I have a room in my ex-wifes house…I’m very comfortable there…

“Okay…so is that the same house that you lived in when you were married then?”

Yes…she got the house in the divorce didn’t she…

“Oaky…so you’re divorced but sharing a house with your ex wife…?”

Yes…

“You paid the bulk of the mortgage and yet you’re renting the back bedroom…?”

Yes…

“And you were on a chair painting the kitchen ceiling…?”

Yes…

“So how is this any different from being married to her then…?”

Well…we don’t have any sex…

“Well…not to be rude..but how much were you having anyway,when you were married…?”

Not much really….which is why I had the affair…

“So…she got the gold mine…and you got the shaft…”


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