The Boerewors Emergency Medicine Chronicles: So...don't trust the police officer...

Friday, 8 January 2010

So...don't trust the police officer...

...I don't trust the police either...

Regular readers will know that I have been arrested,interrogated and been shot at by some of South Africa's finest police officers...not to mention those officers who would phone me at 2 a.m. and say "Hey...fat man...we are going to kill you!"

Really ?!?

You have to mention my weight 'problem' ?!?

Anyway...if you don't believe the police when they tell you to stay at home due to the atrocious weather then perhaps you could trust the BBC news broadcast...

...or the weather forecast...

...or notice that there are no trains running...

...no buses running either...

Perhaps you could notice that most of the schools are closed...

...or that you and your idiot spouse are the only people in the Pub....that you just had to go too in blizzard conditions...

BTW...really ?...you didn't notice the snow on your way to the pub?

Whatever...congratulations on the magnificent ankle fracture...both malloli and the tibia separately!!

Outstanding!!

I'm pleased to be able to tell you that you've been short-listed for the Darwin Awards!!

So...this patient broke the lateral malleous (outside ankle bone) the medial malleous (inside ankle bone) and took a chunk out of the back of the tibia body...

Oy...you can just imagine how happy the orthopods were at 2130 last night...about as happy as the ambulance crew who had to take the patient to the main hospital as there was a decreased blood flow to the foot!!

WooHoo!!

AP view...from the front

the little hand is pointing at the medial malleous fracture

Lateral view...the little hand is pointing at the wedge of bone from the body of the tibia!

3 comments:

Anonymous12 January 2010 at 15:49
when you are old. will you go and sit in an old persons home in Nysna and have a black woman poor talcum powder on you? or will you hobble around the uk in your ancient SA hiking boots and worry about heating payments. or do you intend to eat fatboy breakfasts everyday and hopefully die before you reach 80? i cant imagine your pension is up to much. maybe you will have to keep working till your 65..........................
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Mal Content13 January 2010 at 11:45
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Mal Content13 January 2010 at 11:48
Well...I've already had a "black" woman pour talcum powder onto me....indeed its one of my more innocuous fetishs'.
Main plan is to drink copious amounts of Moet and hope for the best...its working so far...WooHoo
BTW...why do you ask...did you want to make me an offer....loL
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What I do and where I do it

Naturally...naturally... this blog is a complete work of fiction.Of course it is... None of the people (or their relatives) or any apparent colleague or indeed any event mentioned within the blog, exist, or have ever existed. Really..no..really...Honestly..trust me..*right*

If you think that you recognise yourself, -particularly if you are a clinician or an ex-girlfriend-, then you have a narcissistic personality disorder.

However if any part was true then the introduction might read something like this:-
I work as an autonomous Emergency Nurse Practitoner serving a charming English seaside town called Little-Ghetto-on-Sea, on the East coast, closer in fact to Europe than to London.
We treat a wide range of minor illness and injury , with admitting privileges to St Vulva's, the main academic hospital some 20 miles away .
It is apparently one of the UK's most densely populated city's...and fits Littlejohn's discription in the Daily Mail when he says,"most British seaside towns are run-down dole-claimant dormitories,which seem to take a perverse delight in driving people away through a combination of rip-off prices , tatty boarding houses and disgusting food and draconian parking regimes" . It often feels as if it is the setting for 'Little Britian' which most foreign readers will know is more social commentary than cutting-edge comedy.Indeed most of the male patients are typically shaven headed pierced,inked,dirty-fingered,dull eyed ,baseball-cap wearing, unemployed smokers with prodigious drinking skills. The women have a limited vocabularly, ranging from "innit" to "my (human) rights" with not much else inbetween.Invariably they have several children from different consorts (love that word!) and walk through the town talking on their cell phones and ignoring their children.There are few vegetarians and even fewer graduates.

DISCLAIMER

This site is for entertainment purposes only.

Any patient interactions or cases that are posted here are not based upon any single person ,living or dead ;or any specific event.

Conversations in quotes and remarks that appear to be quoted verbatim are not necessairly true. All patient details are changed to make identifying them impossible, far exceeding the minimum standards for de-identification of patient information.

However , occasionally , ECG strips ,photographs,or x-ray images that are of clinical interest are posted and are subject to that particular patient having given me written permission for the image to be published;and no original NHS images or materials are used,removed or uploaded from any of the hospitals in which I work.

Under no circumstances should any reader assume or think that any nursing or medical advice is being dispensed.

No nurse/patient relationship,- or indeed any theraputic relationship of any kind-,will be established by you reading and/or commenting upon this blog.