Tuesday, 28 April 2009

The Award for 'best attempt at a credible explanation' goes to...

Last Sunday we decided to bestow our own version of the Darwin Awards to the patient with the weirdest explanation or excuse given for their injury .

All the shortlisted candidates were male!

In third place:-

Patient reports that on Friday night ,-in drink-,wearing trainers,that he attempted to kick his front door down because he couldn't find his keys.He continued to kick the door until the pain in his toe became unbearable and he fell over.

He had a bruised toe with no bony injury.

In second place:-

One week ago,whilst running through a garden (which may or may not have been his own) the patient may (or may not) have been stabbed in the right calf with something that may (or may not) have been metal and which may (or may not) have broken off inside his leg and which may (or may not) still be in his leg.
He reports that he developed a scab which he peeled off yesterday and that he has squeezed out a lot of green pus.Today his calf is warm and red and swollen and painful.

He was apparently trying to out-run the police!
And succeeded!

And the winner of the prize for the most unbelievable and bizarre explanation goes to this young man:-

Patient reports that he has lost his memory.Reports that the last thing he remembers is being on his computer on Friday evening ;and that the next thing he reports being aware of , is when his phone rang at 11am today {on Sunday morning} and his girlfriend wanted to know where he had been for the past day.He reports that his left arm is swollen and blue and very painful,and that his left hand is also swollen and blue and feels numb and icy cold.He denies taking any drugs or drinking any alcohol.

He had no obvious fracture on the very quick x-rays that were done but had a really bad compartment syndrome in his arm with a threatened hand that required an emergency transfer to St Vulvas' and immediate surgery!!

The Orthopods are beginning to really dislike me...


He decided to forgo the free enema which was First Prize...second prize was two enemas...and third prize was ...well....three enemas.

1 comment:

  1. Re no #2. You can outrun the police but not acute inflammation.
    Hilarious :-)