Don't tell me that...

..."all the other doctors" have given you antibiotics for your previous 'viral upper-respiratory-tract-infections...or as we call it in South Africa,'a cold'.

1. Telling me that you had a perforated eardrum when you were six that resulted in you spending two weeks on life support (really?) is meaningless...you're 53 now!
2. I know that I have an accent...you thought it was Australian...but we pretty much all have the same curriculum no matter where we trained in the English-speaking world.
3. And South Africa used to be in the English-speaking world
4. I'm not a doctor...I am an Emergency Nurse Practitioner...I told you that when I introduced myself to you about 3-minutes ago.Try and pay attention.
5. And I work autonomously.
6. And the 'fact' that a doctor gave you treatment doesn't impress me...either you're lying,or he didn't train in South Africa at the Worlds Best Hospital...like I did... either way...I don't care
7. Telling me that there is no analgesia made in the entire Western World that works on your headache...that you have unsuccessfully tried paracetamol,aspirin and ibuprofen...trust me,something always works...and if it doesn't , then you are the worlds' most unlucky person and you shouldn't ever buy a lottery ticket
8. And , "no Madam , that wasn't me being abrasive"...the timbre of my voice is harsh;the tone is post-ironic...but it was me cutting through all the political-correctness nonsense and telling you the truth that really offended you
9. Oh...by the way...then asking me for a script for codeine won't work either...I know I look stupid...my ex-wife told me often enough thank you...but actually ...well...you go figure
10. By the way...don't call me in the morning.Take 2 aspirin instead.