So...can I
get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?
>>>>>Rewind 10 minutes.
It was Christmas Eve babe...
And a Silent Night in the Unit.
Baby , it was cold outside, a
proper Winter Wonderland.
With any luck we'll have a White
Christmas.
Out in Royal Davids City Mall the
window-lickers and layabouts were spending their social security.
MarkieMark, with his comb-over
dyed red for christmas,sashayed over to my room to ask for some
prescribing advice.
He had a young woman as a patient
with cellulitis to her left heel following-on from wearing new shoes
to a party.
His concern was that she thought
she might be pregnant and wanted to know if I would be happy to
prescribe some flucloxacillin to treat the cellulitis since she had a
temperature and was feeling unwell
We walked back over to his room...
...well...
...I walked....
…and MarieMark minced...
...like the all-butter-short-crust
pie he had stuffed into his pocket.
Sitting on one chair was a pouting
pulchritudinous blonde nymphet of about 18, twirling her hair around
her index finger.
MarkieMark was fortunately immune
to her charms.
Me...not so much.
Sitting next to her was a tall
gangly teenager, with his jeans down around his scraggly arse and
wearing the obligatory stupid, stupid knitted woollen hat, staring
off into the middle distance.
He looked like he had been kicked
in the testicles and was still waiting to draw his next breath.
“Hello...Mark tells me you think
you might be pregnant?”
Yersss....I'm
late...
“Okay...well...Mark will run a
quick urine pregnancy test and we will talk again after that then...”
'Kay...
She was indeed
pregnant...we ran two tests just to be sure.
“Well...you’re
definitely pregnant...probably about six to eight weeks...”
Oh thats great...!!!
Her boyfriend
just sat there, waiting to draw breath , pale , looking a little
like Frosty the Snowman.
“Well...I'm
happy to give you a prescription for the antibiotics...they’re safe
in pregnancy...are you going to proceed with the pregnancy?”
Yersss....I'm so excited...
She grabbed the
hand of her boyfriend.
He just sat
there....still waiting to breathe.
“Okay...here's
the prescription...”
I turned to the
boyfriend.
He managed a
little gulp.
He looked at me
wildly, like he had stared into the abyss and seen the monster of the
deep...
...and the
monster was called 'fatherhood'.
“And do you
want the phone number for the Foreign Legion then...?”
I gave her the
prescription, wished them good luck and they got up to leave.
As I walked back
to my room I heard the boyfriend call me.
So...can
I get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?
Okay....what he actually asked was if his girlfriend was really pregnant...
I was happy to confirm she was.
Ahhh...it was like a fairytale of New York.
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