Its because you are so good looking...that's your problem...
*WHAT??*
Also...you look too clever....
*WHAT??*
I was working my last session with my "clinical mentor"...the doctor who tries really hard to put 'mad' back into 'medicine' and it had been a long tedious day...mainly because of the patients but partly because my mentor was trying to share as much of his wisdom as he could in the remaining time we had together.
We had just spent an hour with a patient who had come into the surgery with a shopping list of drugs he wanted...and when I wouldn't give him anything except those absolutely necessary to keep him alive, he demanded to see my mentor...
...who in fairness also declined to give him the sleeping tablets, benzodiazepines, assorted painkillers and coal tar shampoo he wanted.
Instead, my mentor thought he would show me how to do a psychiatric intake interview.
I wasn't really sure who was madder at the beginning...
...but I think the patient won hands down when he explained that he had never worked because of 'the fly'...
"What 'fly'...?"
The fly that came into my room when I was 16 and just about to leave school and start work...
"What did the fly do...?"
It watched me for the next 25 years...I couldn't move out of my room....
"Oh...okay....are you on any psychiatric treatment for that?"
No...I manage to leave my room to get my shopping...
...and to go to the pub...
...and I'm all right going on holiday...
...and getting married was okay although shes left me now because I don't work...
...I cant work...
...its not my fault...
...the fly watches me...
"Rigggggggggggght....so you can do everything you need to outside of your house except work?"
Yerrh....I sign-on like...the benefits office don't understand why I can't work either...
....that's why I want the drugs....
*Sigh*
I looked at my mentor...
...he looked back at me...
...and then reached for his prescription pad...
The patient left happy .
Or as happy as he was choosing to be.
You see...it helps if you have a stupid dull face like mine...
I couldn't argue with him about that.
They don't expect anything from me...
I raised my left eyebrow.
But you...you are so good looking...that they think you care about them...that's your problem...
I raised my right eyebrow.
Also...you look too clever...they think that you are interested in your job...
I raised both eyebrows
Look at me...they know I don't care about anything!!
I couldn't really argue with him about that.
Perhaps I should cut down on the Aramis though.
And refer my mentor to the optometrist.
Your mentor sounds like a character I would like to meet. The patient however, seems to have selected what part of his life the fly should control.
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