Wednesday 1 February 2012

...in which a naked Charlize Theron is in fact only the cherry on the cake...




I have by and large stopped going to the cinema to see films unless one of the kids is with me....or I'm on a date...so not much chance of that then!

( And why is it that women want to see such dreadful movies on a date...Mad-GF used to drag me to see movies like "Precious"...)

I love films...but I only now rent DVDs or wait for them to come onto TV because I am fed up to the back teeth with the audience-generated-noise that spoils the normal movie experience.
I understand the rustle of chocolate wrappers...the crunch of crisps...the slurp of a cold drink...farting...laughing...fidgeting...men on dates praying 'take me now Lord,take me now'...
...but whats with the talking...?
...to each other about what you said to the supposed love of your life...?
...or on cell phones to your idiot friends who couldn't steal enough money to pay for a ticket...
...or the texting...?
....dear lord the texting...
...why do you have to have your cell phone on in the cinema anyway...?

I guarantee that if you're aged 15-23 that you are not doing a job that requires you to be available 24/7...

...I've had jobs that required me to be on call but I still got the night off from time to time andthats when I went to the movies.

Its really bad here in the UK , and is exacerbated by the sense of entitlement that in particular the young have about the need and 'right' to express their opinion all the time ,free and unfettered by common courtesy or social convention.

But last night....what a blessing!
There was a special screening of 'Young Adult' for subscribers to the Times newspaper.
Oh what a blessed event...
I was probably the youngest person there...
...so guess what happened...?
Nothing!!
No one spoke.
No one had their cell phones on.
No made make any calls on their cell phones.
I don't think anyone even farted....apart from me of course...
Oh the joy of seeing Charlise Theron naked and in silence!!
Well apart from the collective drawing in of breath from 100 middle-aged men whose life flashed before their eyes and they weren't even in it..

The next movie I go too will either be another Times screening or I'll wait until I get back home and go to the Drive In ...or "dryfin" as its pronounced...
(...if any of them are left...)
...as Jeremy Taylor sings below...






And then today I went to the local University library to do some research for my upcoming Nurse prescriber exam.
Its fair to say that university libraries have changed a lot since the 1980's...
...the local Library has three different designated study areas


The red zone is the silent study area, ideal for students who wish to work with no disturbance:

  • Mobile phones are not to be used
  • Laptops may not be used
  • Personal music players are not allowed
  • Food is not to be consumed
  • Conversation is not permitted
  • Bottled cold drinks only
The yellow zone is the quiet study area, ideal for students preferring minimal disturbance:
    • Mobile phones must be on silent; only texting is permitted
    • Laptops may be used
    • Personal music is allowed, but should not be audible to others.
    • Food is not to be consumed
    • Whispered conversation is permitted
    • Bottled cold drinks only
And the Green Zone...
...well its pretty much a combination of 'have a barbie' and 'free sex'!

I went to the Red Zone...
...where everybody was using a laptop...
...listening to music...
...talking to each other...
...eating toasted steak sarnies...

(okay....I made that last one up)

So I switched on my own music and had milkshake-and-vodka.

On the way out....needing to empty my bladder after all the milkshakes...I saw the following notice in the Male toilets.
Really??
University students don't know to flush the toilet paper??





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2 comments:

  1. Glad to see that you salary has allowed you to purchase the most up to date music system around! B.A.B.

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  2. "University students don't know to flush the toilet paper??"
    You have made the classic mistake of the mature, you think university students are educated. The student doing the hard subjects are educated and intelligent, this includes medicine, dentistry, vets, nurses, engineers physicists, you know the ones I mean, the ones doing subjects that require application. Unfortunately the universities are overrun by people doing history of art, dance, 'meedja studies and of course the ever present social studies students. These are the ones who really struggle to walk and talk at the same time (except the dance students who manage this as long as someone has choreographed it for them).
    I now wait until a film has almost finished it's run before I go to see it and the cinema is usually pretty empty. Even though, I book a premier seat and still find some tosser sitting in it who has a standard ticket.

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