So...turns out that I do have a weird brain...(steady;steady)...my right-sided lateral ventricle(number 1 in the image below) is smaller than the left-sided lateral ventricle and is also missing its 'posterior horn'... which it should have....like the left ventricle has...umhh...guess one of God's apprentices made me in a bit of a rush!
Anyway...the consultant neurologist assured me that its probably been like that my whole life...just some arbitrary congenital anatomical anomaly and that it will "probably" have no negative consequences for me...
...oy!
'Probably'...now theres a word loaded with possibilities...
So as a pessimist I would say that one ventricle is smaller than the other and worry about that...
As an optimist I would say that it means I clearly have more brain cells than most people,filling up that extra space...nature abhorring a vacuum...etc
So as a pessimist I would say that the extra brain cells have made no difference to the quality of my life given my disastrous choices in both my career and in the women in my life...
As an optimist I would say that at least my choice in women allows me to start drinking at 9 in the morning...
So as a pessimist I would say that all the 9am alcohol will destroy the extra brain cells...
As an optimist I would say that at some point I will forget that the ventricles are weird and stop worrying...
It also turns out that I just have a common and garden but atypical trigeminal neuralgia...'atypical' because the symptoms have lasted for so long...basically there is an artery, very, very close to the nerve...and that I could have an operation to resolve it...
...on the one hand though,I think about how fragile life really is - how there is so much enjoyment still to be had...the bacon sandwiches...poetry...a clear winters morning walking by the ocean...milk shakes...
...there is still my internal hinterland to explore...
...and on the other hand,I think how I have managed to survive so many horrible things already ...Nicci,Sian,Edith,Kathy,Delwyn...that I no longer feel the need to tempt fate by letting anyone near my head with a can opener unless I'm already dead...
(Note to self:- start dating women with 3 or more syllables in their name)
The only way that all the weirdness in my head is going to come out is through my writing!!
I know that I've had a perfectly wonderful life...it just isn't this one!
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