There is a question/statement at the top of the admissions form that the patient (or their relative) is required to answer that says:- "Please describe your illness or injury ".
The weirdest response today,was the patient who wrote: "Big nine"
She had an urinary tract infection.
The least literate was the patient who wrote : "rite one is poppin"
He had an ear infection.
The most prosaic was the young man who wrote : "Cut to cock"
He was the (lucky?) recipient of some over zealous oral sex last night.
Very very very...very...difficult to feel any compassion for him.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off!