Friday 3 May 2013

Three strikes and you're out...



Saturday morning and my next patient was a well dressed and well presented man in his eighties...hair combed and brylcreemed...wearing a jacket and tie...and polished brogues.
He spoke in a  well modulated and educated tone, in that (almost gay) fruity manner of Brits who were born into money;married money;made money;but are still wondering just what the hell happened to the Empire.

He had been started on a very necessary drug regime and treatment plan by his specialist two days earlier for a chronic , difficult-to-manage but not fatal condition; but a condition which was causing him pain and anxiety and which would only worsen unless the medicines were working.

He was however clearly having an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients in his cocktail of drugs.
Shuffling Bob, in a display of proactive enthusiasm had already established that his airway was patent and had administered the first dose of a basic anti-histamine.

By the time I saw the patient , the allergic rash was already resolving.

I got a full and complete history from him and thought about what I should do next....have a tea break ? Ensure he doesn't go into complete anaphylaxis ? Both ?

"Right Sir...I'd like to keep you here for another hour or so just to check that the rash doesn't return and then I'll give you a prescription for some anti-histamines and I'd like you to take them for the next two days until you can contact your doctor on Monday if that's okay...?"

No that doesn't work for me...

"Well...ummhhh...I'm not sure which of the three drugs that you started has caused the reaction , so I'm loath for you to continue with them...but we both know that you need this treatment so you really do need to go back to your doctor..."

Well I'm going on holiday tomorrow...for five weeks...

"That's nice...where are you going...?"

Devon...

"Okay....well...that's in England right...?"

Yes...its about a four hour drive away...

"Well...couldn't you just go on monday after you've phoned your doctor?"

Well...you just don't understand...we're taking our caravan and going to a caravan park...

"Okay...but surely if you phone them and agree to pay for the day you miss  they won't really mind? "

We've already paid for the site...

"Then if they've got your money what's the real problem...you really do need to start on some sort of medication for your condition...apart from anything else, the pain is just going to get worse over the next few weeks...."

Well we're members of the Club for Caravaners of Great Britain...

"Jah..."

And if you cancel a booking less than three days before you're supposed to be there they put a black mark against your name...

"Well...you're not cancelling the booking...you'd just be turning up a day later..."

No you don't understand...the Club is very strict....three black marks against your name and you have to leave...

"What...?"

Friends of ours...well their son was in an accident and  they went to the hospital and he died even , and they got a black mark against them...

"Good grief..."

So simply needing to see my doctor isn't a good enough excuse...

"So let me get this right....you're going to go on holiday and be in pain for five weeks simply because you're scared that the Club for Caravaners will give you a hard time...?"

Well yes...but theres lots of perks to being a member of the Club...

"What....like S&M adventures...?"


How did these people ever get rich?
Why am I so poor?

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