"Mrs Burns ? Mrs Myfanwy Burns?"
A tall,thin, well dressed older woman stood up and walked towards me guarding her left arm .
She looked like a praying mantis,with a tight cap of purple hair and large glasses offset by an angular face with a small chin.
She followed me into my examination room.
"Good evening Ma'am...what can I do for you today then?"
Glaring belligerently at me, she waved her left hand in my general direction.
I sat there looking at her.
Many patients do this and I always ignore them...I'm not actually a vet...you have to talk to me if you want me to try and guess what might be wrong with you...and since I get paid by the hour and not by the patient,I can sit and wait out your rudeness longer than you can wait your your pain.
I sat.
She sat.
I sighed.
It was supposed to be a treat ,she snarled.
"I beg your pardon?"
My stupid daughter thought it would be a treat...
I just sat looking at her.
She took me out for 'afternoon tea' at a fancy hotel...
"Yerssss....?"
Well...she wanted to sit outside in the sun...
"Yerssss....?"
And it moved...!!!
"The sun moved , you mean?"
Yes...she spat...the sun moved and I ended up sitting in the shade...
"Right...so the sun moved...like its done every day since...oh...I don't know...the beginning of time perhaps...and you ended up sitting in the shade...go on..."
Well I decided to dragged my chair from the patio onto the grass and I fell over...and injured my wrist...
"Okay...it certainly looks dodgy...lets get an x-ray of that for you..."
I don't think its broken...I'm only here because my stupid daughter insisted I come...
"Well...I do think its broken...but if you don't want the x-ray that's also okay..."
Well...I've waited so long to see you this evening that I should probably have it then...
She had it.
She had broken her wrist.
I'm glad I'm not her daughter...
...or husband...
...or orthopaedic surgeon...
Julian demanded danger pay for putting her in a plaster cast.
I offered him half a kit-kat.
He accepted.
Yikes.
ReplyDelete