Monday, 21 February 2011

Humpty Dumpty

...that's what the patent's mother had written on the admission form.

Concerned when she read the admission form ,MsWiggy, who was working as the Triage Nurse,went and saw the patient immediately.

He was a young man from Africa...who spoke no English...and who had been in England exactly 2 days.
He had been for a walk to acquaint himself with this fair town when the local denizens attacked him for no apparent reason.
Being of sound mind and even sounder limb,he ran away and went home where his mother took him to the police station.

there was this poor young man sitting anxiously next to his mother...looking terrified...sent in to us by the police who were concerned that he may have been injured in the vicious and unprovoked attack.
I should probably say at this point that the attack had consisted of the local-yokels throwing some eggs at him...2 of the eggs had hit the back of his head and broken...the egg shell that is..not his skull.

Indeed he had bits of the shell stuck in his hair.

Now I have no doubt that he was terrified at having been chased through the streets of this charming ghetto and I have every sympathy for him...but quite why the police and his mother felt I needed to examine him is really beyond me.
He needed L'Oreal...not Lucien!

"Were the eggs hard boiled?"


"Were they hardened criminals then?"


"Do your brains feel scrambled?"


"Were they ostrich eggs?"


"Well...I'm not sure why the police sent you here...I think the yolk is on me....mind you...theres also some on your neck...and behind your ear...and in your hair..."

"Julian...please get this man a towel...and be quiche about it !"

"Welcome to England Sir...try and look on the sunny side of least the medical treatment is free..."

Bada bing...bada boom....Thank you...
Albumen here all week!

PS....I do correct the admission forms and hand them back to the patients on occasion....I'm an egghead after all!

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