The award for the Most Pretentious Patient of the day goes to the lady who added her OBE award to her name, signing herself in as “Mabel Bloggs OBE”.
I know that it’s an honour and that you’re proud…but…really?
The award for the Thickest Member of Staff goes to the radiographer who entered the pretentious patient’s details onto the x-ray reporting system as follows:
Middle name: Bloggs
Christian name: Mabel…and then wondered why he couldn't find her NHS number
The Daftest Excuse Award goes to the father who said,-when asked why he had not given his son any analgesia for his broken wrist-, said: “Well….I didn’t want to give him any paracetamol in case he needed an x-ray…because it looks broken”
The I-could-care-less-at-this-point award goes to the middle aged woman with a huge...huge... dental abscess….and who had waited all day…and who presented 2 minutes before we closed…because of the pain…she was crying in pain…but the pain and swelling had not been serious enough for her to have come in before ‘Strictly come dancing’ had finished...
I gave her the Amoxil 500 mgs TDS and Flagyl 400 TDS combo that we use here and some strong analgesia and bade her good night…her parting remark was …"Obviously….I’ll start with the antibiotics tomorrow morning then”…
The Rudest Patient Award goes to the young woman with a viral throat, who, when I told her that I was not going to be giving her any antibiotics today said:
“Well I want something! I haven’t sat here to see you for an hour and a half to go home empty handed!”