Friday, 26 November 2010

Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays

My dad had just been admitted to the local hospital from his 'frail care bed' at his old age home.

My brother and I were both a little stressed.

The young nurse was completing the admission paper work

What religion is your father?

"Jewish" ,my brother replied.


She wrote..."Jau-hish"

My brother corrected her spelling.

Tell me...she asked...what sort of Christians are the Jews?

" sort, really...Judaism sort of pre-dates a couple of thousand years..."

Oh...well...we didn't do history at college...

"There are three religious truths: 1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters


Its going to be a long weekend...

...mind you...I was speaking to my dad's Rabbi last night,just checking that we were doing everything we should be doing for my brother and I are both Retired Catholics...

...the Rabbi was patient and explained what we might need to do...

Finally,he said,you may not do anything to hinder the progress of your dads disease or potential demise...neither though may you hasten the process!

Huh....does my accent sound German?

You know, I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.

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