Friday, 26 June 2009

Stuck on you

So the patient came in holding his head in his hands...well...that was my initial impression

In fact,his hands were stuck to his face...with superglue...
Lots of superglue...
Stuck symmetrically to his face just like in the picture of Macaulay Culkin

Julian had lots of fun separating the two... *ouch*

The patient said that he was walking along the pavement,on his crutches...
-he apparently uses them due to some unknown medical disability
- for which he naturally receives a state medical disability benefit
-(no wonder I'm paying 40% tax)
-and he didn't have his crutches with him
-and in fact walked into the Unit with a normal gait so the nature of his disability remains a mystery unless we all just agree the guy has acute-FUO^


Anyway...he said that he had been walking along the road when some teenagers ran past him and squirted superglue onto his face...and that... naturally he tried to wipe the glue off and then his hands got stuck...

Hummh...I found his story hard to believe as I don't believe that any of the local teenagers would do anything with superglue except sniff it...

His old notes show that he has attended our Unit more than 50 times since we opened three years ago,including , -last year-, for the removal of a bottle of mayonnaise from his rectum.
His explanation for that event was that a burglar must have broken into his house when he was asleep and inserted it ...

Fortunately it was a bottle of Hellman's 'light' it was easy to remove!!

^ F*ckwittery of unknown origin

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