Monday was a public holiday here in the UK and so...with nice weather,a three-day weekend and newly-paid-benefits cash burning a hole in their stolen wallets...you can guess where most of the local denizens spent their days...sitting in our waiting room...and then complaining about how hot the glass-walled waiting room became.
Apart from the usual 'PFO-FOOSH'* -wrists and idiot vs. gardening equipment injuries,we also had our fair share of coughs and colds,all convinced of course that they had swine-flu...despite the fact that no respectable virus would choose to live in this town!
And of course we had our daily rationing of the crazies...who unfortunately seem to have met their soul mate in Shuffling Billy.
He is our new triage nurse,entrusted to sort people based on their need for immediate medical treatment as compared to their chance of benefiting from such care. Triage is done in emergency departments where limited medical resources must be allocated to maximize the number of survivors.
Yes...well...
*sigh*
He is preternaturally calm and composed,placid even,never losing his temper,always smiling,always polite,always making pots-of-tea for the rest of the harassed and irritated staff...
No one is this calm...unless they're nuts...on a lot of medication...don't understand the concept of "chaos-and their-role-in-it"...or is a serial killer.
The jury is still out...
And so ,on Monday when we were heaving with patients,he interrupted my consultation to ask if I could 'quickly see' a patient...
I was introduced to a middle aged man who was clearly...well...nuts...plucking at things in the air that only he could see, and having an internal dialogue which ,-in fairness-,seemed to be amusing him...
He was requesting a complete organ check...because he thought that he was infested with blood worms...
Right...blood worms!!
I told Shuffling Billy to do a urine dipstick test on him (just in case he was ill with a real-life illness) and to send him home if it was normal...because he had already done a temperature,BP,oxygen saturation and smegma count...
It was normal...you just can't dipstick test for 'crazy' !
* Pissed,Fell Over=Fell On OutStretched Hand
Apart from the usual 'PFO-FOOSH'* -wrists and idiot vs. gardening equipment injuries,we also had our fair share of coughs and colds,all convinced of course that they had swine-flu...despite the fact that no respectable virus would choose to live in this town!
And of course we had our daily rationing of the crazies...who unfortunately seem to have met their soul mate in Shuffling Billy.
He is our new triage nurse,entrusted to sort people based on their need for immediate medical treatment as compared to their chance of benefiting from such care. Triage is done in emergency departments where limited medical resources must be allocated to maximize the number of survivors.
Yes...well...
*sigh*
He is preternaturally calm and composed,placid even,never losing his temper,always smiling,always polite,always making pots-of-tea for the rest of the harassed and irritated staff...
No one is this calm...unless they're nuts...on a lot of medication...don't understand the concept of "chaos-and their-role-in-it"...or is a serial killer.
The jury is still out...
And so ,on Monday when we were heaving with patients,he interrupted my consultation to ask if I could 'quickly see' a patient...
I was introduced to a middle aged man who was clearly...well...nuts...plucking at things in the air that only he could see, and having an internal dialogue which ,-in fairness-,seemed to be amusing him...
He was requesting a complete organ check...because he thought that he was infested with blood worms...
Right...blood worms!!
I told Shuffling Billy to do a urine dipstick test on him (just in case he was ill with a real-life illness) and to send him home if it was normal...because he had already done a temperature,BP,oxygen saturation and smegma count...
It was normal...you just can't dipstick test for 'crazy' !
* Pissed,Fell Over=Fell On OutStretched Hand
"idiot vs. gardening equipment" lmao ... we have one of those living in our street!
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