tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21427577771931975982024-03-14T08:38:22.349+00:00The Boerewors Emergency Medicine ChroniclesPrescribing medicine I know little about:for diseases I know less about:for people I know nothing about.Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.comBlogger384125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-8055188673225663492015-04-23T09:06:00.000+01:002015-04-23T09:06:30.139+01:00The author of this blog has passed awayMal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-17113802355016345032015-03-09T22:19:00.000+00:002015-03-09T22:35:57.390+00:00The therapeutic effect of seeing a student nurse walking towards you preparing to do her first catheterization...on you...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xxq2uRbNBz8/VP4QhPj-cfI/AAAAAAAADXU/AuG5Lu7two0/s1600/ugly%2Bveg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xxq2uRbNBz8/VP4QhPj-cfI/AAAAAAAADXU/AuG5Lu7two0/s1600/ugly%2Bveg.jpg" height="400" width="268" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Imagine my surprise on Sunday night when I looked down at my groin and saw....</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...actually...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...I should probably start at the beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I started back at work three weeks ago...Yea!!</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last Saturday, after work, after sitting on my saddle chair -(<i>which had been so well hidden in anticipation of my return, that no one could find it initially</i>)- all day , I noticed in the shower that my right leg was very tight and swollen and tense and slightly discoloured.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Uh huh.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a good nights sleep the swelling had gone down slightly.It was however swollen again at the end of Sundays' shift.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I emailed my oncologist on Monday , who called me back concerned that I might have had a deep vein thrombosis.She arranged for me to have some imaging which showed no DVT but some decreased flow into my right leg in the groin.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Uh huh.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw her the following day only to discover that between the PET scan in January and the CAT scan to plan the radiotherapy in mid-February, that there had been a proliferation of lymph nodes in my groin.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Are they the old cancer?</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Are they a new cancer?</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They're certainly cancer but no one knows.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She is optimistic, BTW...well, she would be, wouldn't she.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway...the radiotherapy team had already seen them and factored them into the treatment planning and indeed I have already had some radiotherapy over the affected area.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why no one on their team had bothered to tell me, well, who knows.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyhow...when you find yourself walking through hell...don't stop...so I haven't.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So there I was last night, at about 21h00 watching a tense courtroom scene in </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">'<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Judge_%282014_film%29" target="_blank">The Judge'</a></span><span style="color: blue;"> when I became aware that there was pressure in my groin and I felt/thought that I needed to take a quick pee.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I stood up I experienced some pain and looking down at my groin I saw that my 'chap'...my 'member'...'WillyWonka' was very very VERY swollen...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...the foreskin was huge and folded over, purple and glistening , the size of a toddlers hand who is clutching his last sweaty M&M...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...and I was unable to have that much needed pee.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like so many other times in my life, I sought comfort in the company of strangers and so drove myself and my rutabaga-like penis to A&E.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It needed its own seat belt.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I arrived there it was heaving...but I was seen relatively quickly because I used to work there.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And also I looked like a pervert...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And there wasn't just one female colleague/friend prepared to see me...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There weren't even just two female colleagues/friends prepared to see me...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There were three female colleagues/friends who were prepared to see me...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...once they had all stopped laughing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Consultant tried to peel back my foreskin...and yes, I know him as well.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They decided I would need to be catheterised.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They asked if the student nurse could have a go under the guidance of the Consultant...really....what could I say....I've asked the same question of many patients in pain....its a teaching hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then...<i>Hallelujah...Lord be Praised</i>...<i>'Vat hom Dawie'...</i>as they approached me, the swelling subsided sufficiently for me to pee!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In retrospect it was probably all the handling that reduced some of the fluid....</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...because...according to my oncologist who I saw this evening...it turns out that I have a collection of lymphatic fluid in my penis...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...apparently the lymph nodes get 'burnt', for want of a better description,by the radiotherapy and thus swell slightly...we're talking millimetres...which causes the lymphatic fluid to pool distal to the lymph node.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been advised to massage it frequently,firmly,ferociously and with malice aforethought ..I'm drawing up a rota.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First the leg...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...then the old chap.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its eerily reminiscent of my divorce proceedings.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Oy gevalt!!</i></span></div>
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-52274886741857434812015-02-03T19:27:00.000+00:002015-02-03T19:28:56.611+00:00Glad tidings of comfort and joy....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Hox_qTS01E/VNEfirPsBvI/AAAAAAAADWk/gzQTj_ZdCZs/s1600/aaaaaaa%2Bfear%2Bblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Hox_qTS01E/VNEfirPsBvI/AAAAAAAADWk/gzQTj_ZdCZs/s1600/aaaaaaa%2Bfear%2Bblog.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter'; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I met with my Oncologist
last week to get the result of my post-chemo PET scan.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue;">I was stunned by the result....as was she.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are two main items in the report:
-<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Firstly, the cancer
in the liver and in the lymph nodes surrounding the blood supply to the liver
has completely resolved. This is an unexpected but positive and crucial result.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue;">Everything<span style="font-size: small;"> else in my abdomen and chest is </span></span></span><span style="color: blue;">clear.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: small;">Secondly, there are
some bizarre isolated lymph nodes in my retroperitoneal space, which are showing signs of
‘abnormal metabolism’ whatever that may mean - I've come to understand that it does not </span>necessarily<span style="font-size: small;"> mean cancer. Indeed, the reporting radiologist and my oncologists and the DXT consultant are not sure what is causing the lymph nodes to <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><span style="color: blue;">show up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was referred to
the radiotherapy team for treatment of these isolated nodes and met with them
today. After some preliminary planning and CAT scans I will be undergoing five
weeks of radiotherapy probably starting towards the end of February.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: blue;">I will be given some tattoos on my </span></o:p></span><span style="color: blue;">abdomen as markers for the radiotherapy - my first tattoo!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">I am meeting with
Occupational Health on Monday 9<sup>th</sup> February with the expectation that
I am will return to work on Monday 16<sup>th</sup> February on a graduated
‘return-to-work’ plan which will hopefully coincide with the DXT.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-80270348453478239832014-12-15T17:33:00.001+00:002014-12-15T17:33:12.899+00:00"The Golden Hour"<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">In 1989 my then brother-in-law popped over one evening and asked us if we had any ideas for TV programs.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">He used to work as a sound engineer for a small TV production house.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">At the time, the concept of</span><a href="http://www.emsworld.com/article/10732337/ems-trauma-care" target="_blank"> <span style="color: purple;">'The Golden Hour'</span></a><span style="color: blue;"> was still relatively new in trauma medicine particularly in South Africa;and so we suggested this concept as a possible idea.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">We wrote a one-page treatment and I discussed the potential program with Dr Ken Boffard, the then consultant in charge of the Trauma Unit ( Area 163) at the Johannesburg Hospital.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I didn't get an on-screen credit although I recall we were paid a lot of money for the idea.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">This program is as more a slice of medical history and South African social history than anything else...and I was a little surprised to see how many of the nurses I later dated!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">The concept is still generally valid although the newer 'Platinum 20 Minutes' is a more up-to-date protocol.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Copyright is apparently held by the SABC and the program was made by Penguin Films;but since it doesn't appear to be available anywhere to rent or buy or even illegally download.....as if I would....never I tell you, never....I thought I would put it up.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="color: blue;">Enjoy!!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Gosh....weren't we all so young!!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">BTW...'hotdogtimmy' was my call sign...from the verb, <i>'to hotdog</i>'...<i>.to grandstand</i>...but I looked really cool.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><a href="http://youtu.be/9Lz644gWL-Y" target="_blank"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>CLICK "HERE" TO VIEW THE PROGRAM</b></span></a></u></div>
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P0QUMKEG_7s/VI8aSHGj_xI/AAAAAAAADWI/3lxsELmr1LE/s1600/trauma%2Bunit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P0QUMKEG_7s/VI8aSHGj_xI/AAAAAAAADWI/3lxsELmr1LE/s1600/trauma%2Bunit.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: red; color: purple; font-size: large;">T<a href="http://youtu.be/9Lz644gWL-Y" target="_blank">he golden hour TV program</a></span></b></div>
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-1024338214739473202014-12-09T20:28:00.002+00:002014-12-09T22:40:48.733+00:00...in which I discover I am apparently a cat and am owned by a certain Mr Schrödinger...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YG-s8q_pmpw/VIdNswgqL4I/AAAAAAAADVo/6SFJ6G6YSvc/s1600/cat%2Bblog%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YG-s8q_pmpw/VIdNswgqL4I/AAAAAAAADVo/6SFJ6G6YSvc/s1600/cat%2Bblog%2B2.jpg" height="260" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="line-height: 1.48em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">n a hypothetical experiment, (that) Schrödinger, a <span style="line-height: 1.48em;">physicist devised in 1935, a cat is placed in a sealed box along with a radioactive sample, a Geiger counter and a bottle of poison. </span></span></span><span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 1.48em;">If the Geiger counter detects that the radioactive material has decayed, it will trigger the smashing of the bottle of poison and the cat will be killed. </span></div>
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<div class="fourthPar">
<div style="line-height: 1.48em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">The experiment was designed to illustrate the flaws of the ‘Copenhagen interpretation’ of quantum mechanics, which states that a particle exists in all states at once until observed. </span><span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 1.48em;">If the Copenhagen interpretation suggests the radioactive material can have simultaneously decayed and not decayed in the sealed environment, then it follows the cat too is both alive and dead until the box is opened.</span></div>
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<div class="fifthPar">
<div style="line-height: 1.48em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Common sense tells us this is not the case, and Schrödinger used this to highlight the limits of the Copenhagen interpretation when applied to practical situations. The cat is actually either dead or alive, whether or not it has been observed. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.48em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">“[It] prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality,” Schrödinger wrote. “In itself, this would not embody anything unclear or contradictory.” </span><span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 1.48em;">Schrödinger’s Cat has been used to illustrate the differences between emerging theories in quantum mechanics, by testing how they would approach the experiment. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I finished the sixth and final cycle of chemotherapy last Tuesday;and subsequently had the PICC line removed from my left bicep that same afternoon at St Vulvas Oncology Day Unit...which has been a real pleasure to use rather than being admitted to the wards as I was for the initial treatment.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">( In fact I had to request to change oncologists as I lost faith in my initial doctor, not least because the <i>locum</i> I had seen at clinic told me about the possibility of having the treatment as an out-patient, which the initial oncologist just could-not or would-not , facilitate.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">( There aren't that many advantages to being South African in the diaspora except the willingness to be rude and demand better / adequate treatment when you feel disadvantaged.)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">( <i>Aluta continua</i> Comrades! )</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have never really understood why anyone would seek admission to hospital when they could and should be treated at home...apart from the insane and homeless...but must admit to seeing at least one patient a day since I have been working in the NHS who has requested admission to hospital for what is frequently a trivial complaint.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And who then gets offended when I laugh in their face...as I am prone to do.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not that it was a picnic but that was mainly due to the profound tiredness and nausea and then abdominal pain and cramps...indeed in the five days of active chemo, - ( the pump was strapped to my forearm), - I only ate a small bowl of Fruit Loops and three bananas...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...I live alone, with my lovely son living and working some 70 miles away and so ,pragmatically, on a daily basis I have relied principally on my landlady and my char-lady to look after me and provide me with my daily provisions although I have had some good local friends who have also been invaluable.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I basically just stayed in bed and looked at the wall, lacking the will to read a book or even watch TV...and the five days post-chemo were exactly the same.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">( Note to self : paint the walls...and exactly when were the curtains last changed?)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But gradually I got better and was surprised when I went shopping today to see that it's apparently Christmas.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The plan now is to have a PET scan on 5th January and to see my oncologist on the 22nd January.</span></div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically its a 1/0 result - either the chemo will have shrunk the mets and lymph nodes and put me in a limited “remission” ; or it won’t have worked and/or the cancer will have “bounced back” after the chemo has finished.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am repairing/decaying.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a future/I do not have a </span></span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">future.</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The heartache and nausea of the past five months has been worthwhile/a waste of time.</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am in a state of limbo, a state which has terrified me and mystified me in equal parts, since it was presented to me , aged four, in Catholic school.</span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="text-align: start;" /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: start;">But lets be positive !</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BTW...has anyone reported this Schrödinger chap to the SPCA?</span></div>
<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-56152489068808335022014-11-22T19:07:00.001+00:002014-11-22T19:07:33.684+00:00Metaphor Green<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LwdDicbuVfs/VHDeF2gNBsI/AAAAAAAADVY/DJX675bVEFs/s1600/10479520_779856238727114_1663511787806736449_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LwdDicbuVfs/VHDeF2gNBsI/AAAAAAAADVY/DJX675bVEFs/s1600/10479520_779856238727114_1663511787806736449_o.jpg" height="328" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Imagine that you have a small
garden</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">its
not big, in truth, you’re not much of a gardener.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its driving force was the mother of
your children, both she and they long gone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One Saturday, having just moved
into the house, you all went to a local garden centre where she bought some roses,
probably discounted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Getting home you were given
specific instructions on where to plant them</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">how deep to make the holes</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">how much fertilizer to use.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And over the years since, in that simple
complexity of nature, the rose bushes have, -if not exactly flourished-, at
least managed to hold their own against your pottering skills.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You water them and feed them and
prune them and cover them with hessian against the first frosts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Your favourite rosebush is that one
that has the yellow and pink roses…you</span><span lang="EN-US"> don’t know the name,
common or scientific</span><span lang="EN-US">…but the petals are crisp and </span><span lang="EN-US">deeply
lemon with a candy-floss-pink just touching the tips</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">and
as summer passes, the colours begin to merge.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its
perfume reminds you of a newly opened box of Turkish Delight on Christmas
morning.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And
now autumn is here and the few remaining roses look overblown and slightly
wrought.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its
time for a final, inevitable and pre-destined prune before winter.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">There
are perhaps eight or nine small buds left on the bush, curled tightly like a
toddler’s sticky fingers clutching his new favourite toy</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">some
faint scent remains, more woody now perhaps, more green but still faintly
fecund.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Secateurs
in hand you cut the first bud</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">.and at
that moment, as you diminish the rose bush, the bud is already dying, if not in
fact already dead.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An
errant thorn catches your thumb.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">You
take the buds up to your small flat, and place then in the water jug that
serves as your vase</span><span lang="EN-US">..</span><span lang="EN-US">.warm
water</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">some plant food</span><span lang="EN-US">…</span><span lang="EN-US">and
then you place the jug on the windowsill where it can catch the sun and becomes
its own </span><span lang="EN-US">chiaroscuro work-in-progress.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some of the buds fail to open.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Several flourish and even seem to turn
towards the light.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some last a few days, one or two last
for a week; one in particular struggles on for two weeks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every night when you go to bed, as you
switch out the light, you pause and remember all of those past summers, some
with the children, some without, all still coloured by warm laughter and cool
wine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One morning, the rose is simply dead.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Black and withered, leaves and
blossoms fallen to the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans
</span></i><span lang="EN-US">mercy<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> purpose<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> form<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> function<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> perfume<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> joy<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> hope<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Sans</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> redemption<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Simply compost.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Simply dust.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You sigh slightly and throw the
remnants away<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">That is what it feels like to be
living during the four months you have been told you have left to live.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Kannada MN";"><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span></div>
Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-11473678711975566912014-10-06T22:01:00.002+01:002014-10-06T22:01:48.349+01:00Mr Pushy to the rescue...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DZk2qm4Cd0Q/VDLdKohnxJI/AAAAAAAADT8/fylbX6hfKkU/s1600/the%2Bnature%2Bof%2Bthe%2Buniverse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DZk2qm4Cd0Q/VDLdKohnxJI/AAAAAAAADT8/fylbX6hfKkU/s1600/the%2Bnature%2Bof%2Bthe%2Buniverse.jpg" height="280" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pushy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That's a good word to describe me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Assertive....also good.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aggressive...well, can't really argue with that either.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rude....jah...that as well.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We all develop an array of different styles and coping mechanisms to deal with the vicissitudes of daily life...Mr Grumpy....Mr Professional...Mr Sarcastic...sometimes even Mr Happy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes though, despite the apparent success of our coping mechanisms we can become welded to a specific style which may end up being dysfunctional...mine was Mr Sarcastic.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After my cornea transplant last year, I started a process to change some aspects of my life and behaviour. I felt calmer and happier after the eye surgery and just decided to infuse my whole life with that calmness....and it was working...until the CUP diagnosis.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fairness Mr Grumpy often made a guest appearance in my life when confronted by blithering idiots who are my colleagues but gradually Mr Calm would mediate.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When he failed then Mr Big-Bar-of-Chocolate...or in extreme cases, Mr Bacon-Sarnie would intervene.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mr Pushy never really seemed to go away though</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its simple...I work very hard for my money and if I'm paying for a service I expect that service to manifest fully and as described and promised.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm the person who complains in restaurants and gets a better table.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm the person you see getting an upgrade on the plane.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or a discount in a shop.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or assorted freebies.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think generally that you have to 'take care of business'...the 'business' of your life...in order to optimise all the facets and interactions of your life...and that anything is acceptable provided you don't break any of the Ten Commandants.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">About 15 years ago, when I was Nursing Manager at a private hospital in Johannesburg, my car was stolen when I was at a dinner party.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact the Flying Squad had recovered it before I knew it had been stolen and had it taken to the Police Pound in <a href="http://www.soweto.co.za/" target="_blank">Soweto</a>, the 'black' city adjacent to Johannesburg.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went to the pound the following day accompanied by the head-of-security of the hospital - Joe was Zulu, built like the proverbial brick outhouse and a trusted colleague.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We entered the reception area of the pound and saw about 12 police officers sitting at desks in various states of not-working.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They ignored us for a few minutes...Joe looked at me and shrugged.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I pulled a R50 note out of my wallet...a lot of money at the time...and said...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Anyone here speak English"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Zoooooooooom...suddenly the Officer in Charge was at the desk, deftly shaking hands and folding the R50 into his pocket.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He was very helpful...he took me to my car and asked me to sign all the paperwork and assured me that I could pick it up the following day.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I apologised for ruining his lunch and donated another R50 to the tea fund.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During the transaction, an Indian couple were also trying to get the attention of the police and then trying to get their car released.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They sneered at me for my bribe.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't really care.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The following day my car was ready and had even been washed.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Indian couple found that their car had been broken into overnight....in the police pound...and that the radio had been stolen;and that their car was standing on bricks since all the wheels had been stolen as well.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jah....thats life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I am due to start my fourth cycle of chemo this week.Its on a 21-day cycle and I am supposed to see my oncologist prior to each new cycle and have a blood panel done.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn't surprised or worried that I left hospital after the third cycle without a followup appointment because the ability of two parts of the NHS,-even in the same building-, to talk to each other is just not going to happen.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn't too worried initially when I didn't get a letter with an appointment in the past two weeks but became increasingly worried as the cycle-four date approached.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's some free-floating anxiety building to that fear that you've been forgotten.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Part of the problem with the NHS is that because its 'free' at point of service, the patient actually has little choice in accessing services...you take what you're given.... the NHS will offer you all sorts of choice on their website and in their literature but its difficult to actually access any choices apart from that which is local to you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I tried to get seen at a different hospital after my second cycle of chemo owing to the appalling care I experienced but in the end that just didn't happen.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead they switched my oncologist and apologised for their errors.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So today I had to become pushy with the NHS.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mr Polite-but-tenacious-Pushy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I put on my plummy accent and phoned and asked to speak to the Professor.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got his secretary - a pleasant woman who knew who I was....I'm guessing because of my complaint.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I explained the situation to her and could hear her tapping away on her keyboard.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn't on the Inpatient chemo list for the next month.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also wasn't on the Outpatient chemo list for the next month.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or on the pharmacy chemo-preparation list.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Additionally, I wasn't on any list to see any doctor at any time.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At all.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ever.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometime ....for some reason...since my discharge two weeks ago, I appear to have vanished.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She promised to call me back...and did within 20 minutes, having spoken to my oncologist...who wondered why she hadn't seen me but who had just assumed that I was on her list somewhere.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jah.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And this is the Service who is pumping poison into my body.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its time to unleash Mr Nasty.</span></div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unless I can find someone to bribe.</span><br />
<br />
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-35859983236691397532014-10-01T12:00:00.000+01:002014-10-01T12:07:34.131+01:00Its the gravy , its the mashed potato...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G4zSCt1mCNY/VCvWHnWpqoI/AAAAAAAADTs/UhGHjIhxygA/s1600/gargoil%2Bcat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G4zSCt1mCNY/VCvWHnWpqoI/AAAAAAAADTs/UhGHjIhxygA/s1600/gargoil%2Bcat.jpg" height="258" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've never been drunk...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've never had a hangover...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is no great moral or ethical or philosophical or religious reason for this.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the same way that I never got the point of Morris Dancing or badminton or self-harming, I never really *got* the point of alcohol.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've certainly tried any number of drinks but never really found anything that I liked the taste of, or that slaked my thirst.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I used to go to the pub with my uncle and try all of his recommendations including a Christmas Pudding beer. Mostly I took a sip, felt like vomiting and stopped right there. He would naturally finish off the pint for me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I did once enjoy a Peach Bellini in BA First Class but that was because it was ice cold and tasted of peaches.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've also never done any non-prescription drugs, not least because I have problems dealing with prescription drugs.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had surgery a few years ago to repair a nerve in my left ankle that I had injured running.The surgeon was both technically excellent and an old friend.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I remember going under the anaesthetic...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...I then remember being chased through a jungle for hours on end by teddy bears wearing rainbow striped waistcoats and carrying AK 47's...no matter how far or fast I ran they still pursued me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I awoke at about 3am, in pain and thirsty and scared...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...rang the bell for the nurse...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...and again...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...and yet again.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finally I called the switchboard and a few minutes later three nurses carefully opened the door and eyed me warily.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Apparently I had reacted to the pethidine I had been given at some point and had tried to strangle my surgeon when he did his post op round.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He still doesn't talk to me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So there I was last weekend, just finishing cycle three of my chemo, on the last bag of 5FU.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It hadn't been a bad admission overall although I really had difficulty eating anything.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At about 18h00 I saw something flapping outside the window...possibly bat.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">By 20h00 I was convinced that there were gargoyles at my window, leering at me and trying to get into my room.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Part of me knew that I was probably hallucinating...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...part of me was scared.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I started to pick at the skin on my abdomen to make myself bleed so that I could check that I wasn't hallucinating.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The gargoyles continued to batter the window.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then I heard water running somewhere in the room.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I got up , wandered around and checked that all the taps were switched off, got back into bed and still heard the water.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I checked again...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...and again...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...and continued to pick at various lumps and bumps to check I was bleeding and thus still alive.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then I was aware of someone standing in my room trying to sell me a toasted egg sandwich.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It felt like I was both the director of some low budget horror film and the actor but had no control over what was happening.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I found myself at some point standing in the corridor wearing only shorts with several wounds bleeding on my abdomen and trying to pull out my PICC line.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The nurses were less than helpful...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...around midnight they called the 'hospital-at-night' team who eventually sent an SHO down to see me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: blue;">He walked around the corner , looked at me and said, </span><i><span style="color: magenta;">Aren't you Lucien from the Minor Injuries Unit?</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="color: magenta;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I replied that I might be, my paranoia now fully florid.</span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I thought so, </i>he said<i>, I gave you the anaesthetic when you had your cornea transplant last year.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Okay...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So they disconnected me from my chemo, - it only had about 15 ml left in the bag-, and he prescribed some <a href="http://www.nhs.uk/medicine-guides/pages/MedicineOverview.aspx?condition=Aggression,%20Restlessness%20and%20Agitation&medicine=haloperidol" target="_blank">Halopeirdol</a>...which didn't work for about four hours...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...when I fell into a deep sleep and thought that I had driven home.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a real surprise to wake up still in hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Throughout the whole hallucinatory experience I had a tune running through my head...'its not the gravy, it's the mashed potato'...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...who knows where it came from...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...but its still playing in my head as I sit and write this!!!</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think I need a drink.</span></div>
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-43763094446928946492014-08-30T20:00:00.000+01:002014-08-30T20:01:37.948+01:00A life on the ocean wave....<br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been having a bit of a clean out...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...not really anything to do with the cancer...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...okay...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...maybe about 5% to do with the cancer...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...and about 95% of thinking that the mother-of-my-children will roll her eyes and sigh when she and the kids have to clean out the flat.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Actually my flat has just got too full of rubbish.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">In 1965 my brother and I travelled with our parents from Southampton in England to Cape Town , on the Athlone Castle, a </span><span style="background-color: yellow; color: red;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Union-Castle_Line" target="_blank">Union Castle mail boat</a>,</span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> on a trip that took 2 weeks.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember being given a glass of warm orange juice just prior to boarding as there had been severe snow storms the day before.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember trying (i.e., my mother forcing it upon me) ( and not liking) , <span style="background-color: yellow;"><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/britain-at-war/10066467/Beef-tea-potato-pie-and-duff-pudding-How-to-eat-like-a-WW1-Tommy.html" target="_blank">'beef tea'</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember , after we had crossed the equator, that we were given endless tubs of ice cream, a rare and magnanimous luxury at the time.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've found a few menus which today make interesting if bizarre reading and provide a snapshot of what was considered to be 'haute cuisine' , in particular the amount of offal on the menu ; and what parents thought children should eat.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cannot imagine ever giving my kids a cream-of-celery soup , even today; I do remember though that the children's evening meal was separate to that of the adults and that pretty much, they gave you what you wanted.</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TvSxAqJKe6k/VAIaIfFY_ZI/AAAAAAAADSs/pPO-GdqGipk/s1600/actual%2Bkitty%2Bmermaids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TvSxAqJKe6k/VAIaIfFY_ZI/AAAAAAAADSs/pPO-GdqGipk/s1600/actual%2Bkitty%2Bmermaids.jpg" height="388" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KAgUpccFjKc/VAIagcw7DkI/AAAAAAAADTM/K6K8UB_EABY/s1600/actual%2Bchildrens%2Bmenu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KAgUpccFjKc/VAIagcw7DkI/AAAAAAAADTM/K6K8UB_EABY/s1600/actual%2Bchildrens%2Bmenu.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.recipe-quest.com/messages/6268/664.html?1016585911" target="_blank">Chicken Stanley</a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aZ6rIcgjh9Q/VAIaCxf5kgI/AAAAAAAADSc/KmRPR8hKWfo/s1600/actual%2Bdinner%2Bmeun%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aZ6rIcgjh9Q/VAIaCxf5kgI/AAAAAAAADSc/KmRPR8hKWfo/s1600/actual%2Bdinner%2Bmeun%2B1.jpg" height="640" width="398" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQHuk6DzPO0" target="_blank">Veal Zingara</a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--GtAMArZ4ME/VAIZ8ZXe2rI/AAAAAAAADSU/6OQb6ne0wPM/s1600/actual%2Bdinner%2B%2Bpic%2B2%2B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--GtAMArZ4ME/VAIZ8ZXe2rI/AAAAAAAADSU/6OQb6ne0wPM/s1600/actual%2Bdinner%2B%2Bpic%2B2%2B.jpg" height="312" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jfdRsTIlAeM/VAIaFQkdYcI/AAAAAAAADSk/WN59MFyQNlI/s1600/actual%2Bdm%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jfdRsTIlAeM/VAIaFQkdYcI/AAAAAAAADSk/WN59MFyQNlI/s1600/actual%2Bdm%2B2.jpg" height="640" width="406" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">This was the menu for the fancy dress dinner, a highlight of the voyage for my parents.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hjHBKVS_LZY/VAIaPm7ttYI/AAAAAAAADS8/242eRyOr498/s1600/chiuldrens%2Bmenu-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hjHBKVS_LZY/VAIaPm7ttYI/AAAAAAAADS8/242eRyOr498/s1600/chiuldrens%2Bmenu-1.jpg" height="375" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l1LVVDHv-AE/VAIaRlN0QxI/AAAAAAAADTE/mLrozwql3iM/s1600/posh%2Bdinner%2Bmenu%2B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l1LVVDHv-AE/VAIaRlN0QxI/AAAAAAAADTE/mLrozwql3iM/s1600/posh%2Bdinner%2Bmenu%2B.jpg" height="640" width="467" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/05/the-nasty-bits-lambs-tongue-offal-cassoulet-recipe.html" target="_blank">Saute of sheeps tongues Italienne</a></div>
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Me?<br />
I'm off to have a jam sandwich.<br />
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-36377005639029036382014-08-15T12:27:00.001+01:002014-08-20T13:01:32.253+01:00Is that a cancerous mass in your groin or are you just pleased to see me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SCqc4rdVj2Q/U-3lQ0I_S_I/AAAAAAAADR8/8QmDBGo2lgI/s1600/ur%2Blifestyle%2Bis%2Bout%2Bof%2Bstock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SCqc4rdVj2Q/U-3lQ0I_S_I/AAAAAAAADR8/8QmDBGo2lgI/s1600/ur%2Blifestyle%2Bis%2Bout%2Bof%2Bstock.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Dear Reader</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">So about eight weeks ago now, there I was, just woken up one saturday morning,- a day off-, and like every man everywhere, married or single, the first thing I did was check that my testicles were still attached to me...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">They were...that was the good news.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">The bad news was that overnight, I had developed a large swelling in my right groin...about the size of both of my fists.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I briefly wondered if it was a hernia but knew that it was a lymph node that was swollen, and for no apparent good reason.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I saw the GP who thought that it was a hernia and who referred me for an ultrasound...fortunately, the consultant who did the U/S immediately realised that it was a swollen lymph node and not a hernia and referred me very quickly for a CAT scan and then for a biopsy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">The biopsy was interesting...a (female) doctor exposed my groin and then stuck a huge freaking needle into it, several times...it reminded me of my divorce negotiations.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">It then took three weeks to get the result.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Which turned out to be something called</span> <span style="background-color: yellow;">"<a href="http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/unknownprimary/Patient/page1" target="_blank">cancer of unknown primary</a>"</span>.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">This is a rare and vicious and extremely rude form of cancer.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Rude.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Rude, rude, rude.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">And that was the good news.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">There are five main subsets of CUP and they thought that mine was probably a <a href="http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/squamous-cell-carcinoma-of-skin" style="background-color: yellow;" target="_blank">squamous cell carcinoma, </a>and so they decided to treat me for the worst type of that cancer.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Now this typically occurs in one of two places :- the 'head-and-neck' area ....or the rectum.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>"Rectum Sir...it almost killed him'!</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">In the interim I saw a beautiful young oncologist who asked me to strip naked so that she could </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">examine me as there was some concern that I had a malignant melanoma...I've previously had one, some 10 years ago which I beat.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">This sort of naked experience usually costs me £50.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">She found a lump behind my right knee and sent me for an ultrasound of that.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">That consultant wanted to know the story and then did the U/S.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i>Thats all good, </i>she said<i>, its something called a Bakers cyst</i></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">"Thank goodness for that...its difficult enough trying to run from the Grim Reaper...it would have been freaking impossible if I had to hop away on one leg!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Oddly, she didn't laugh.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I've since discovered that none of the Oncology staff appear to share my sense of humour.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">So then the oncologist sent me for a <span style="background-color: yellow;"><a href="http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/tests/pet-scan" target="_blank">PET</a> </span>scan.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">That was the bad news.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">So three weeks ago I was admitted to the local hospital,- St Vulvas-, for urgent chemotherapy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">The same beautiful oncologist came in to talk to me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: orange;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: red;">Good evening....Its very bad news I'm afraid...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">"Uh huh...?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: red;">The cancer has spread to your liver and right thigh and hip and left upper arm...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">"Uh huh...so...whats my long term </span><span style="color: blue;">survivability like..can you give me a number?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: red;">About four months...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">"Geez doc...don't be shy...don't sugarcoat the truth there..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: red;"><i>Well thats without treatment...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">"Well....I assume that you are going to treat me though?"</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">She smiled </span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">They did.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">So they started 100 hours of chemo.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">It was very boring.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I had no side effects to speak off except extreme lethargy when I got home.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I saw the oncologist last week and the swelling in my groin has diminished by over 80%...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">In her own words, she was "amazed".</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Whilst they hope and expect the chemo to work, it typically only works after two or three doses...so this is positive news.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I</span><span style="color: blue;">t also means that their guess that I have a squamous cell primary is probably correct and that I am getting the correct treatment for it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I'm due to have another one or two cycles and then a followup PET scan and then probably three more cycles every 21 days....I'm waiting for a call at the moment in fact.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">There is a shortage of beds.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">In the interim they will be looking for the primary.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Thats my story.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">More later.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-11741153030109444222014-04-16T22:07:00.004+01:002014-04-16T22:11:02.354+01:00SAA 295 - The Helderberg<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">My eager craft through footless halls of air....</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Where never lark nor even eagle flew—</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">The high untrespassed sanctity of space,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;">Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.</span></div>
<em><span style="color: blue;"></span></em><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></em></div>
<em><span style="color: blue;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px;"></span></span></em>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px;"><em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gillespie_Magee,_Jr." target="_blank">John Gillespie Magee</a></em></span></span></em></div>
<em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 21px;">
</span></span></em></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The emotional fallout for an aeroplane crash is always much more than simply the sum of lives lost and families devastated.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We are reminded that we are after all, only insignificant and very mortal humans and not the Gods we believe ourselves to be....not the omnipotent beings that the digital age and its attendant consumerism would have us believe.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every time I am at an airport and see a 747 trundle down the runway, I hear a voice in my head saying , 'Lift off, we have a lift off'...every time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every time I see a plane.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every time I am a passenger.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'V1' and the nose starts to rise.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">'V2' and it heaves itself off of the ground, grasping its way into the air, the wheels leaving the safety and surety of the earth for the impossibility of intangible air.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We can understand intellectually the <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Bernoulli effect;'fluid dynamics';and Newtons Third Law.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: large; line-height: 18px;">But that's not what we see.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 18px;">What we see is opportunity.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 18px;">What we see is in fact evolution writ large - mankind crawling out of the mud, then reaching for the stars.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">What we experience is the same sense of awe that man experienced when he first understood and utilised fire for his own benefit - a sense that we are in control of our physical environment and that a brave man can push back the darkness and fear</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />
On that cold December morning some 110 years ago , Wilbur and Orville Wright didn't just make the first powered flight...they proved that the collective reach of humanity is beyond that of our simple single caveman grasp and they unlocked the door to an unimagined future.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For South Africans, the fire on board <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_Airways_Flight_295" target="_blank">SAA 295</a> 26 years ago and the subsequent loss of life remain a mystery.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Against the backdrop of Apartheid , and the iron grip of the securocrats , the loss of the Helderberg , and in particular the questions surrounding its cargo of alleged components of rocket fuel mean that the conspiracy theories are difficult to ignore.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And the transcripts of the <a href="http://www.witness.co.za/index.php?showcontent&global%5B_id%5D=110376" target="_blank"><b>Margo Commission</b></a>; the various <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLGAqlutBoQ" target="_blank"><b>archival footage</b> </a>available on YouTube ; and the <a href="http://klatzow.co.za/Steeped_in_Blood_by_Dr_Klatzow.html" target="_blank"><b>David Klatzow</b></a> book do little to settle the mind against the charges that the State perpetrated a wilful cover up .</span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-78897609944982448392014-04-11T20:14:00.002+01:002014-04-11T20:16:16.072+01:00Fracking my prostate...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c_ANigE5sh4/U0g03gYOODI/AAAAAAAADRc/YhpPZbLefNo/s1600/prostate-exams-after-40-annually-prostate-demotivational-posters-1299607235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c_ANigE5sh4/U0g03gYOODI/AAAAAAAADRc/YhpPZbLefNo/s1600/prostate-exams-after-40-annually-prostate-demotivational-posters-1299607235.jpg" height="400" width="355" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So at the end of last year I was waiting to have an <a href="http://boereworsmedicine.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/it-was-at-that-point-that-i-realised-i.html" target="_blank">MRI of my prostate </a>to see if I had any cancer after having had a raised PSA level.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For a variety of reasons, all beyond my control, the MRI never happened...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So it was back to the clinic where after much crying and snuffling and snot and shouts and threats , the surgeon calmed down enough , finally came in off of the ledge when the hostage negotiator asked him, and agreed to do something called a <a href="http://www.essexurology.co.uk/prostate_template_biopsy.php?s=2" target="_blank">template biopsy</a> of my prostate.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fast forward to two months later...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The day didn't start well...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...mid-morning , just as I was about to leave for the day surgery unit, a nurse phoned to say that my surgeon was involved with a complex emergency and may not be able to operate on me after all...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...eliciting a mix of relief and irritation in more or less equal parts.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But, she added, stay <i><b>nil by mouth</b></i>, just in case they could still operate.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Three hours later I found myself and my raggedy bare arse sitting on a cold metal stool in an even colder and depersonalised exam room.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My surgeon and anaesthetist bustled in, swapped files and started to go through the pre-op paperwork with me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"How tired are you guys?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I beg your pardon...?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Well I was told you had a complex emergency case and that you might be too tired to operate later...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">and yet here we are..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No, I'm good...it wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">(Hummh...wonder if <b>that</b> patient is thinking the same thought?)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Okay then..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why...are you worried...?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Well...truthfully...I don't want any tired knife-jockey or gas-monkey coming anywhere near me and my suspect prostate unless you're operating at 100%...I don't want a slip-up with a scalpel...my penis is already small enough!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They laughed!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Look...<i>dokkie...</i>its no good me pretending otherwise as you're about to see in 10 minutes...when God was building me, he clearly and I hope,-accidentally-, reached into the box labelled 'Penis-;Midgets, for the use of-;rejected, as being too small' ".</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh how they laughed.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Dear reader, the surgery went fine.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Three weeks later I went back to get the results.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So...what we did was to take 30 biopsies from your prostate...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"What...?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yes....and they were each 25mm long...or one inch in old fashioned money...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started to feel faint.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And 1mm wide...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I was gasping for air.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Right...so basically you took out 30 inches of my prostate?!?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well...yes...when you put it like that it sounds a lot...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"We're talking about something the size of a walnut though?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Yes...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Good grief...no wonder I had felt like I had been neutered!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anyway...the result was not as good as I had hoped for, but at least I no longer have to worry about not having sufficient savings to augment my insufficient pension.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And they have agreed that I can have treatment for my testosterone deficiency.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One thing though...the first available appointment at <i>that</i> clinic is at the end of June!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So at the moment I am technically, hormonally , a lesbian....</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...I already have the sensible shoes and bad haircut...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...but still no woman in my life!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But with a reamed-out prostate I feel more like a ladyboy!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">*Sigh*</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">All offers considered....</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...why am I pretending...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...all offers of sex gratefully accepted!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-76565530159498715632014-04-02T09:50:00.001+01:002014-04-02T09:51:22.000+01:00Man bites dog - dog bites back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-msisGy16fBU/UzvKopgrrMI/AAAAAAAADQw/-zVcjWIKKPg/s1600/lethal+injection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-msisGy16fBU/UzvKopgrrMI/AAAAAAAADQw/-zVcjWIKKPg/s1600/lethal+injection.jpg" height="238" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A busy day again , and whilst briefly checking the triage list , I saw the statement about the self administered lethal injection.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Out-standing...the patients aren't even waiting for me to kill them now....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I immediately called the patient through to the Resus Room.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Good evening...what's going on then?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well...what it is...obviously...I'm a veterinary nurse...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yersss.....?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And I was putting a dog to sleep this afternoon...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yersss.....?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And as I stuck the needle in his neck he moved...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yersss.....?"</span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And I injected the lethal drug into my thumb...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Right...how much did you inject?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">I don't know...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Whats the name of the drug?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">I don't know...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Whats the active ingredient in the drug?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">I don't know...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Did you bring the syringe in with you?"</span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">No...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Did you bring the box that the drug came in, in with you?"</span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">No...</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Did you bring the package insert about the drug , in with you?"</span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">No...</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Okay....can you please phone the vet and find out the name of the drug?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">No...we're closed now ...</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...this happened at 2:30 this afternoon and my boss said I could only go to A&E when we closed 'cos we were too busy...</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: blue;">...so we're closed now, </span></i><span style="color: blue;"><i>aren't we...</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>...that's why I've come in....</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>...only the emergency vet is open now...</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>...its after nine you know...?</i>...she replied smugly.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Okay....can you please phone the emergency vet and try and find out the name of the drug?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>Do I have too...?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well...its difficult to treat you if I don't know what to treat..."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">She did.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She found out the name of the drug.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Since she really only had sustained a needle stick injury...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">...and the toxic dose was 4mgs / kg...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">...and the syringe only contained 5mgs....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">...and she weighed about 120 kgs...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">...I decided she was probably safe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And when the staff at the Poison Information Centre stopped laughing I sent her home.</span><br />
<br />
<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-50391884314559136362013-12-25T06:35:00.001+00:002013-12-25T06:37:46.891+00:00I wonder what Joseph asked the Angel Gabriel ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kuYs15PJAVY/Urp6OBccY1I/AAAAAAAADP4/GClyM6Ucx8Y/s1600/christmas+day+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kuYs15PJAVY/Urp6OBccY1I/AAAAAAAADP4/GClyM6Ucx8Y/s400/christmas+day+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">So...can I
get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: large;">>>>>><b>Rewind 10
minutes.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It was Christmas Eve babe...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And a Silent Night in the Unit.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Baby , it was cold outside, a
proper Winter Wonderland.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">With any luck we'll have a White
Christmas.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Out in Royal Davids City Mall the
window-lickers and layabouts were spending their social security.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">MarkieMark, with his comb-over
dyed red for christmas,sashayed over to my room to ask for some
prescribing advice.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">He had a young woman as a patient
with cellulitis to her left heel following-on from wearing new shoes
to a party.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">His concern was that she thought
she might be pregnant and wanted to know if I would be happy to
prescribe some flucloxacillin to treat the cellulitis since she had a
temperature and was feeling unwell</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We walked back over to his room...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">...well...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">...I walked....</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">…and MarieMark minced...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">...like the all-butter-short-crust
pie he had stuffed into his pocket.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sitting on one chair was a pouting
pulchritudinous blonde nymphet of about 18, twirling her hair around
her index finger.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">MarkieMark was fortunately immune
to her charms.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Me...not so much.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sitting next to her was a tall
gangly teenager, with his jeans down around his scraggly arse and
wearing the obligatory stupid, stupid knitted woollen hat, staring
off into the middle distance.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">He looked like he had been kicked
in the testicles and was still waiting to draw his next breath.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Hello...Mark tells me you think
you might be pregnant?”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>Yersss....I'm
late...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Okay...well...Mark will run a
quick urine pregnancy test and we will talk again after that then...”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>'Kay...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">She was indeed
pregnant...we ran two tests just to be sure.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">“Well...you’re
definitely pregnant...probably about six to eight weeks...”</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>Oh thats great...!!!</i></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Her boyfriend
just sat there, waiting to draw breath , pale , looking a little
like Frosty the Snowman.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">“Well...I'm
happy to give you a prescription for the antibiotics...they’re safe
in pregnancy...are you going to proceed with the pregnancy?”</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>Yersss....I'm so excited...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">She grabbed the
hand of her boyfriend.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">He just sat
there....still waiting to breathe.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">“Okay...here's
the prescription...”</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">I turned to the
boyfriend. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">He managed a
little gulp.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">He looked at me
wildly, like he had stared into the abyss and seen the monster of the
deep...</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">...and the
monster was called 'fatherhood'.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">“And do you
want the phone number for the Foreign Legion then...?”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I gave her the
prescription, wished them good luck and they got up to leave.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">As I walked back
to my room I heard the boyfriend call me.</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; text-align: justify; widows: 8;">
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">So...can
I get that phone number for the Foreign Legion...?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Okay....what he actually asked was if his girlfriend was really pregnant...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I was happy to confirm she was.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ahhh...it was like a fairytale of New York.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-54962563502078794392013-12-24T17:17:00.001+00:002013-12-24T17:19:01.704+00:00The first christmas snow...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-z2LZnB3eekA/Urm-cUKRUKI/AAAAAAAADPc/cU0BIVdWQvs/s1600/actual+xmas+eve.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-z2LZnB3eekA/Urm-cUKRUKI/AAAAAAAADPc/cU0BIVdWQvs/s400/actual+xmas+eve.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">So there I was...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...Christmas Eve, just finished at the gym, feeling achy and slightly smug...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...and popped off to the local supermarket to pick up the traditional festive and Yuletide lobster for my lunch tomorrow...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And of course found myself standing in a queue with some old age pensioners who clearly thought that Christmas actually heralded some worldwide brussel-sprout famine...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">The young woman serving at the till was being polite and helpful and tolerant of all their idiot questions and patiently sorting through various expired discount and BOGOF vouchers for other supermarkets which they were trying to use and I really admired her gracious behaviour, wishing half-heartedly that I might ever be even 1/10 so polite and interested in my patients...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...Jah...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...not really going to happen...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...even at Xmas...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...especially at Xmas!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">The young lady had thick red dyed hair styled like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys </span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lpwEJYdU9p8/UrnAoLSzWEI/AAAAAAAADPo/oE9DDXQ9FCg/s1600/xmas+eve+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lpwEJYdU9p8/UrnAoLSzWEI/AAAAAAAADPo/oE9DDXQ9FCg/s400/xmas+eve+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">How pretty she looks, I thought, showing my true misogynist and lustful character...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Paler than Audrey.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Possibly slightly plumper.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Perhaps with more pimples.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">But I really liked that she had sprinkled glitter in her hair.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And then when I got to the till and wished her a brisk 'good morning' I realised the glitter was in fact dandruff.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Aw...sweet.</span></div>
<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-79589737118383207332013-12-18T12:07:00.002+00:002013-12-18T19:00:59.200+00:00Its free I tell you!!! Its all free....!! An early gift to...well...the whole world from the British Library<h1 style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.3; margin: 7px 0px 10px;">
<a href="http://www.openculture.com/2013/12/british-library-puts-1000000-images-into-public-domain.html" rel="bookmark" style="color: #373731; font-size: 28px; line-height: 31px; outline: none; text-decoration: none;" title="Permanent Link to The British Library Puts 1,000,000 Images into the Public Domain, Making Them Free to Reuse & Remix">The British Library Puts 1,000,000 Images into the Public Domain, Making Them Free to Reuse & Remix</a></h1>
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<a href="http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/brit-library-image.jpg" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="brit library image" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-81506" height="687" src="http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/brit-library-image.jpg" style="border: none; float: left; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-right: 15px; margin-top: 5px;" width="480" /></a></div>
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Earlier this week, Oxford’s Bodleian Library announced that it <a href="http://www.openculture.com/2013/12/oxford-university-presents-the-550-year-old-gutenberg-bible-in-spectacular-high-res-detail.html" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">had digitized a 550 year old copy of the Gutenberg Bible</a> along with a number of other ancient bibles, some of them quite beautiful. Not to be outdone, the <a href="http://britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk/digital-scholarship/2013/12/a-million-first-steps.html#sthash.3kaubTLH.dpuf" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">British Library came out with its own announcement on Thursday</a>:</div>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">We have released over a million images</a> onto Flickr Commons for anyone to use, remix and repurpose. These images were taken from the pages of 17th, 18th and 19th century books<a href="http://pressandpolicy.bl.uk/Press-Releases/The-British-Library-19th-Century-Book-Digitisation-Project-343.aspx" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">digitised by Microsoft</a> who then generously gifted the scanned images to us, allowing us to release them back into the Public Domain. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary/sets/72157638544764936/with/11216689325/" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">The images</a> themselves cover a startling mix of subjects: There are maps, geological diagrams, beautiful illustrations, comical satire, illuminated and decorative letters, colourful illustrations, landscapes, wall-paintings and so much more that even we are not aware of.</div>
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The librarians behind the project freely admit that they don’t exactly have a great handle on the images in the collection. They know what books the images come from. (For example, the image above comes from <em>Historia de las Indias de Nueva-España y islas de Tierra Firme</em>, 1867.) But they don’t know much about the particulars of each visual. And so they’re turning to crowdsourcing for answers. In fairly short order, the Library plans to release tools that will let willing participants gather information and deepen our understanding of everything in the Flickr Commons collection.</div>
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You can jump into <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">the entire collection here</a>, or view <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary/sets/72157638544764936/with/11216689325/" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">a set of highlights here</a>. The latter happens to include <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary/11305478975/in/set-72157638544764936" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;">a curious image</a>. (See below.) It’s from an 1894 book called T<em>he United States of America. A study of the American Commonwealth, its natural resources, people, industries, manufactures, commerce, and its work in literature, science, education and self-government. </em>And the picture features, according to the text, a “Typical figure, showing tendency of student life–stooping head, flat chest, and emaciated limbs.” It’s hard to know what to say about that.</div>
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<a href="http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/american-student.jpg" style="color: #366884; outline: none; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="american student" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-81505" height="388" src="http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/american-student.jpg" style="border: none; float: left; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-right: 15px; margin-top: 5px;" width="480" /></a></div>
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-18477561177178941442013-12-12T20:16:00.004+00:002013-12-12T20:16:52.214+00:00Is it Venus or her cyster ? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H-V25mzk5HQ/UqoR86QjLJI/AAAAAAAADPM/7b72LpPQm1U/s1600/bottocelli+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H-V25mzk5HQ/UqoR86QjLJI/AAAAAAAADPM/7b72LpPQm1U/s400/bottocelli+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Late at night and I was trying to clear the back log of patients from the list as my colleagues seemed set on spending most of their time talking about the Christmas party...when they weren't taking turns to go outside to smoke.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"What's this one ?", I asked Mrs Challiot, the triage nurse as I picked the next admission form out of the in-tray. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"is it a quickie, or something that needs an x-ray?"</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Uhmmm...</i>she peered at the form<i>...oh no...you can't see her...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Why not?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well I think she needs to see a female nurse...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Uh huh...why?"</span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well...shes walking funny...and I think she has a Botticelli thingy...</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"What exactly is a 'Botticelli thingy' ?"</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>You know...that abscess that women get ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...and then she pointed at the ground and whispered...</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...<i>down there...</i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"What...her feet?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(And the Oscar for Best Devils Advocate goes to...)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>No...</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...again in a whisper...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>...her 'lady parts'...</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now look , in one guise or another I've probably seen more than my fair share of "lady parts"...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...and to be fair, I've never seen 'lady parts' that I didn't like...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...personally that is...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...those I have had to see professionally tend to just make me remain a vegetarian...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...but even in a drunken lustful state , I am unlikely ever to describe them as like anything painted by Botticelli.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A bag of chopped liver maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A toasted ham-and-cheese sandwich maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A tuna fish-mayo wrap maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A chill tamale maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But not an oil painting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*sigh*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Do you mean a <a href="http://www.patient.co.uk/health/bartholins-cyst-and-abscess" target="_blank">Bartholin's </a>cyst?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh...yes...that's what I mean.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Pass"</span></div>
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-53465764415520397822013-11-19T15:59:00.000+00:002013-11-19T21:08:53.175+00:00It was at that point that I realised I should be nicer to the man about to stick 12 needles in my prostate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9qpI9gXVgXo/UotpsWp6RHI/AAAAAAAADO8/HLITOtTzIy4/s1600/cat+prostate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9qpI9gXVgXo/UotpsWp6RHI/AAAAAAAADO8/HLITOtTzIy4/s320/cat+prostate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Look....I'm a large guy...fat even.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Okay....very fat even.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So my thyroid doesn't work properly and I take lots of thyroxine...lots.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And unless I eat less than 1000 calories a day, the weight just doesn't go away.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And I can't live any sort of reasonable life if it doesn't include at least a Kit Kat, a bacon roll and a slice of key-lime-pie a day.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So there I was a few months ago, at a Mens Health conference and one of the workshops was on <a href="http://www.andropausesociety.org/downloads/Prof-Tom-Trinick-TDS-Q&A.pdf" target="_blank">testosterone deficiency</a>.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And I sat there listening to the eminent <i>dokkie </i>try and sell me some snake oil and did the little test and found that , according to the guest <i>dokkie</i> and his pharmaceutical sponsors, I was indeed "suffering" from a lack of testosterone.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Hummm...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I have noticed over the past few years that when I look at an attractive young woman,-indeed any woman really, of any age- , my only thought these days is , 'I wonder if she will make me a cup of tea?'</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So perhaps my libido is lessening.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway , when I was off with my cornea transplant I decided to have my testosterone levels checked...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">...lo and behold, the level is way below the bottom of the normal range.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In fact I got a telephone call from the laboratory just to check that I wasn't a lesbian.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I assured them that when I had last checked, admittedly some time ago, I was still just a dirty old man.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">But the private doctor I saw also wanted to check my <a href="http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/detection/PSA" target="_blank">PSA</a> to make sure I wasn't going to run the risk of getting prostate cancer.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now I don't intend to bore non-medical readers with all the ins-and-outs - suffice it to say that the PSA is no longer considered to be a reliable test.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Except of course if you're a private doctor, not really willing to do anything except take money .</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And of course unless you work for the NHS.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now I accept the theory about looking at trends but really...three different doctors and one interesting young lady (who may not in fact have been medically qualified), have all felt my prostate and pronounced it normal.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So today I had a follow-up appointment and my PSA is trending upwards.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I started the day doing a flow rate test.This entailed drinking about 3 litres of water , juice , coffee and coke light and then urinating with as much force and gusto, whilst ideally properly aimed, into a funnel...which magically measured the force at which I pass urine.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Firstly, I passed 1,5 litters and the jug overflowed.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Secondly though, my flow rate is that of a horse.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Who knew?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Then I went to meet my surgeon for today.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">(Note to foreign readers - you seldom get to see the same medical practitioner more than once, unless you are an "interesting case" ;and you never want to be considered "interesting")</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Good morning...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Hello..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">So your PSA bloods are back and the value is not coming down...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Uh huh...so what does that mean?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well what we would like to do is a procedure called a fine needle biopsy...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yersss....?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>We will numb your prostate...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yersss....?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">And then one of the nurse-specialists will insert 12 to 15 needles through your rectum and into your prostate and will take some samples...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Look...<i>.dokkie</i>...as keen as I am to extend my sexual repertoire the thought of 12 needles in my prostate doesn't sound like that much fun..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Its very simple really...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Theres probably two being down right now somewhere in the clinic...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">(That explained the screaming I heard on the way in then)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">You might have some discomfort...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">...and pass blood in your urine and your semen and your stool for a few days but its really very simple...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Right...tell me...do you or your staff know how to operate the jaws-of-life?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">The Jaws-of-Life? I'm not sure I follow...?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well...and I say this with the greatest of respect... the only way you or your nurse is going to get me to open up my arsehole so you can stick me like a matador, is by using the jaws of life!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Oh right...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Jah..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well we can give you a general anaesthetic and go in through your perineum if you'd prefer that?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"What about an MRI of the prostate? I'm happy to pay for it as a private patient."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well its not necessarily that sensitive...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"I know...but a lot of the literature suggests that it is as sensitive as the needle biopsy..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well thats true...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"And if I have a choice between getting my gonads nuked or having some random needling done to my prostate, then I'll go for the nuking every time..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Oh...okay...well its not something we do at this centre...we follow NHS guidelines...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;"><b>Actually , </b><i>said the nurse-specialist sitting next to the dokkie</i><b>, we have an MRI list every monday that we never use...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Oh...well in that case, we can MRI you...and then if we see something we can do a specific needle biopsy...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Marvellouso...well I'm happy to pay for that..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>No, you won't have to pay...its all done on the NHS...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Jah...but I've only lived here for a few years and don't really think the NHS should be paying for it...."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">Well if we don't use the slots we lose them...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well...the slot is not actually lost is it? Its a potential urology slot that I'm sure gets taken up very quickly by one of the acute services..."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Well...we have the slot so we might as well use it...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Okay then.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I will.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-17160162780076917482013-11-07T11:11:00.004+00:002013-11-19T16:00:37.142+00:00Q & A<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NUzKTTl6bTA/UntxsRllp5I/AAAAAAAADD0/WZuDQJc5O-o/s1600/actual+q&a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NUzKTTl6bTA/UntxsRllp5I/AAAAAAAADD0/WZuDQJc5O-o/s400/actual+q&a.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
The patent was a 78 year old woman who was feeling generally unwell...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Right...so when did the headache start?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Just after I moved into my new flat...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Okay...when was that ?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Just after I left my three-bedroomed house...</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Okay...when was THAT ?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Well after the left total hip replacement...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple;">She couldn't manage the stairs, <i>said her companion a dapper looking gentleman holding her bag and coat.</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Yes...I couldn't manage the stairs...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Okaaaaaay then....when was THAT ?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Well...about 2 months after my husband died...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple;">He was a lovely man...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple;">...he was my best friend for years...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: purple;">...its an honour to be dating his wife now...<i>said her companion...her 80 yr old boyfriend</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Oh....he was the love of my life...</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
And then she started to cry.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<b>Oy.</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Please...have a tissue....I'm sorry about the death of your husband...but when did he die ?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Oh about seven years ago now...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Oy vey.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"So you've had a headache for seven years then ?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">No...only since I started the anti depressants last week...</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">...but the problem started seven years ago when my husband died.</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>By the way...I've seen you before...</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Uh huh..."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>But your hair was darker...did you used to colour it...?</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
"Jah...I used to colour my hair but I decided to stop a few months ago..."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Oh...well the grey makes you look older...</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Ahhh...what a sweet old lady...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Don't you just want to poison her...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-64000298417470720722013-10-19T23:03:00.001+01:002013-10-19T23:03:41.664+01:00KFC<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PuqIxr1Tz78/UmL79GNCgwI/AAAAAAAAC_A/19vVKXOxVTw/s1600/kfc+blog+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PuqIxr1Tz78/UmL79GNCgwI/AAAAAAAAC_A/19vVKXOxVTw/s400/kfc+blog+.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...thats what the patient had written on his admission form.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
ShufflingBob wondered if the 'Gentlemen's Area' was some sort of nightclub...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...and if they offered a discount to NHS nurses.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was just one of those days...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I saw four separate patients who all unzipped their trousers and hauled out their...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...oh , whats the word?...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...five letters...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...ends with an 's'...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...ah yes...penis.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And then they were all chicken when I had to examine their...members...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The patient with the cuts in fact had friction burns to the entire length and circumference of his penis.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He happily,even proudly,informed me that he had sustained the burns when he and his new girlfriend were engaged in some boisterous 'cowgirl' aerobic exercise.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm not really sure what he wanted me to do....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...applaud his staying power...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...give him a gold star...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...instead I wrapped his member in several sheets of <a href="http://www.smith-nephew.com/uk/products/wound_management/product-search/jelonet/" target="_blank">jelonet</a>...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...and advised him not to have any sexual congress for two months.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The next patient had a tick embedded underneath his foreskin , in the urethral meatus...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...the opening at the tip of his 'piccolo'.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And since he didn't have a Welsh or Australian accent, I was curious as to how a tick had embedded itself in such a place.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He said he had been camping...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...and that he just woke up one morning and noticed the tick.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It could have been worse I suppose...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...his girlfriend could have noticed it first...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
...when it bit her on the tongue.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Imagine the joy on his face when I pulled out the little plastic veterinary <a href="http://www.petdrugsonline.co.uk/p-1370-otom-tick-remover.aspx?CAWELAID=1360820895&cagpspn=pla&gclid=CNWjvJ7xo7oCFc_ItAodzgsALA" target="_blank">crowbar-looking tool</a> we use to unscrew ticks.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What did Robin Williams say..<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">.“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-47526853721042579672013-09-09T12:57:00.001+01:002013-09-09T12:57:19.494+01:0050% of people are below average<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So I'm sitting working at my laptop...<br />
...5 days of holiday left...<br />
...and the tv is on in the background...<br />
...in case I miss the start of WW3...<br />
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"This Morning" is running a segment called<span style="color: red;"> <a href="http://www.itv.com/thismorning/the-hub/peter-andre-health-alert-live-week" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">'Health Alert Week'</span></a> , </span>and the parents of a new baby are being interviewed...<br />
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"Whats her name?"<br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">'Nala' says the dad...</span></i><br />
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'What does that mean?"<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><i>Well its from 'the Lion King' film...</i></span><br />
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Even the idiot reporter looks nonplussed...<br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">It means'princess' in <b>THE</b> African language....</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>What???</b></span><br />
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-40712221613097362342013-08-26T16:38:00.001+01:002013-08-26T16:38:34.188+01:00Lies, all lies...in Wordify<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-INVd7DoXNdg/UhtxgaZPhJI/AAAAAAAAC7w/z16FBYnJjZg/s1600/statement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-INVd7DoXNdg/UhtxgaZPhJI/AAAAAAAAC7w/z16FBYnJjZg/s320/statement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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1130 , Saturday morning in Sunninghill Emergency Department in Johannesburg.</div>
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Summer, 2001.</div>
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A young woman comes staggering in the door, pale and sweating.</div>
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She is alone....she says that her husband is at work and is on his way to the hospital.</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>This is what she told the admissions clerk</b></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lzr7WQXcbDU/Uht1d-zf4PI/AAAAAAAAC8U/bMwV2MoArRs/s1600/clerk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lzr7WQXcbDU/Uht1d-zf4PI/AAAAAAAAC8U/bMwV2MoArRs/s400/clerk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">This is what she told me</span></b></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wuZW2E3sbMw/Uht1jekOUEI/AAAAAAAAC8c/kS2tuIuw7Fs/s1600/me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wuZW2E3sbMw/Uht1jekOUEI/AAAAAAAAC8c/kS2tuIuw7Fs/s400/me.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><b>After the consultant and I remove a huge vibrator (<i>sans</i> batteries) from her rectum under conscious sedation, this is what she told her husband....</b></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SCN1uypIqcQ/Uht1pHslCTI/AAAAAAAAC8k/Ya11eHL-G-I/s1600/husband.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SCN1uypIqcQ/Uht1pHslCTI/AAAAAAAAC8k/Ya11eHL-G-I/s400/husband.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Marriage...its a wonderful thing...Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-76669265424089890482013-08-20T22:22:00.004+01:002013-08-20T22:22:45.705+01:00Lucien gets a new app...Wordify...with still almost 4 weeks of leave left<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NdAm9uG8H_U/UhPd4Wff22I/AAAAAAAAC5U/7r8QZhGKh2U/s1600/broken+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NdAm9uG8H_U/UhPd4Wff22I/AAAAAAAAC5U/7r8QZhGKh2U/s640/broken+heart.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-67800271977044374012013-08-07T23:19:00.001+01:002013-08-07T23:21:16.014+01:00Autism & Anorexia - something to get your teeth into...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aRuvjThX5yo/UgLBEkfyC9I/AAAAAAAAC4s/eDIkq73I-LM/s1600/autism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aRuvjThX5yo/UgLBEkfyC9I/AAAAAAAAC4s/eDIkq73I-LM/s1600/autism.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For all sorts of reasons I won't bore you with, I have an interest in autism...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...and have always been a little at variance with the belief that there will never be a brain anomaly, -(function and/or structure)-, explanation for autism.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have believed for years that most,-if not all-, illness is best understood as being a continuum process and not just a spectrum. And that autism is no different.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that it is in fact a "disease" in the sense that there may be a medical explanation for the behaviours and possibly a genetic treatment, even if there might never be a cure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So my interest was particularly piqued by this article, <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">Do girls with anorexia nervosa have elevated autistic traits?</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6f7cae; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: left;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: left;">published in the current edition of</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6f7cae; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: left;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;"><em style="border: 0px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.molecularautism.com/content/4/1/24" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">Molecular Autism</span></a></em><span style="color: #474848; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"> which is a peer-reviewed, online open access journal that publishes high-quality basic, translational and clinical research that has relevance to the etiology or treatment of autism and related neurodevelopmental conditions.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In June 2009, Time magazine published an article entitled "<span style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1em;">A Genetic Link Between Anorexia and Autism?".</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1em;">The introduction to the article said : </span><span style="letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1em;"><span style="color: blue;">"</span></span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue;">At the Eating Disorders Unit at the Maudsley Hospital in London, anorexia is not seen as a social disorder — or even primarily a psychological one. While most American treatment providers blame perfection-seeking parents and the media's idealization of hollow-cheeked actresses for eating disorders (among other dysfunctional behaviors), researchers at Maudsley believe the root cause has little to do with social pressure. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rather, they think anorexia is better explained by heredity — perhaps by some of the same genes associated with autism."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">It discusses a number of different studies and ends by saying,<span style="color: blue;"> "</span></span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue;">according to Dr. Eric Hollander, an attending psychiatrist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City and an expert on autism, there is evidence that the "repetitive thoughts and behaviors, rigid routines and rituals and perfectionism" that characterize both autism and anorexia may be traced to the same regions in the brain. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imaging studies of patients with either condition have found variations in the activity of brain regions like the anterior cingulate cortex, for example, where disruptions contribute to obsessive-compulsive behavior and aberrant social behaviors"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Read the full 'Time' article here : http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1904999,00.html</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the study published this month <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">tested <span style="color: blue;">whether patients with anorexia nervosa (anorexia) have an elevated score on a dimensional measure of autistic traits, the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ), as well as on trait measures relevant to the autism spectrum: the Empathy Quotient (EQ), and the Systemizing Quotient (SQ).</span></span><span style="color: blue;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And concluded that<span style="color: blue;"> f<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">emales with anorexia have elevated autistic traits. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Clinicians should consider if a focus on autistic traits might be helpful in the assessment and treatment of anorexia. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">It warned though that<span style="color: blue;"> future research needs to establish if these results reflect traits or states associated with anorexia.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Read the whole article here </span>http://www.molecularautism.com/content/4/1/24</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And just for the record.....vaccinations do not cause autism.</span></div>
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Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142757777193197598.post-61402234314782204672013-07-06T21:04:00.001+01:002013-07-06T21:04:39.275+01:00Saturday evening before sunday afternoon Wimbledon<span style="color: #073763;">So I have been sitting at the beach all afternoon...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...sipping cider...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...eating cheese and chorizo...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...reading the papers...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...trying to recover from the eye surgery...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...the double root canal clean out yesterday...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...(man, I'm really, - really- , going to sue that dentist)...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...and the Andy Murray semi final last night.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763;">And so this evening, making some pretzels, I had Ken Dodd on my TV on YouTube via my Apple TV box...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...and laughing out loud...</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">...I thought it seemed appropriate to share this in anticipation of the Wimbledon Mens Singles final tomorrow afternoon.</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ZTiBKjielhg" width="420"></iframe>Mal Contenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14412687641086655011noreply@blogger.com0